BATHOS. 387 



gentleman in top-boots, Belcher handkerchief, and Petersham coat, 

 I was the only customer. 



On ringing- the bell, a ghostly attenuated foreigner appeared, 

 towel in hand. 



u Waiter," said T, " bring me a tumbler of punch !" 



" We have no paunch, Sare I" replied the gar^on 



" So I perceive," I remarked, trying to count his ribs, " Let me 

 have some port." 



The fellow opened the door I heard a voice again, I trembled 

 with passion 'twas the same music as that which enchanted me in 

 Kensington Gardens ! The soft, thrilling notes were not to be mis- 

 taken I listened in an agony of suspense. The words were these : 



" Veil, mother, how can I keep the bailiffs off? I've gone my 

 hardest. Didn't I try it on with a. kiddy in the gardens this 

 morning? I tipped him a card, and he may come and do the hand- 

 some yet, for he's a regular spoon and a half! ! !'' 



I could hear no more my feelings were wound up to a pitch of 

 intensity, that left me nothing but the power of running away. Of 

 this I availed myself, and rushed onward until I sank exhausted on 

 the steps of a doctor's shop. 



I was taken into the surgery, where the whole truth flashed upon 

 me in one vivid, piercing gleam : the sentimental card-distributor 

 was no other than " the goddess of my idolatry" " the bright 

 particular star of Kensington Garden." These thoughts, acting like 

 lightning upon a sensitive mind, produced visible traces upon my 

 person ; my visage became livid as the ash of an Havannah ; my 

 lips blue as a lobster, and the agony of my mind caused such contor- 

 tions in my features, that I was unhesitatingly pronounced a decided 

 case of cholera! This was too much. I heard no more my senses 

 left me. 



* * * * * * 



On awakening, 1 called to my valet for some hock. The villain 

 did not answer. I tried to reach the bell ; it was not there. I 

 fumbled for my repeater that had vanished. Heavens, I was in a 

 strange bed I called out, I roared. To my inexpressible relief, I 

 heard footsteps approach, and soon a large man in a large coat, 

 knee-breeches, and ancle-jacks, approached me. 



" Vy hallo ! my swell," said the rascal, " vhat coach did you 

 come by ? " 



" Confusion !" 



" 1 'spose you are Peg Mol Percy's fancy cove. Eh, my tiny 

 one?" 



" Furies !'' 



" 'Nough to make a cove furious she's bilked you this time most 

 properly. 5 ' And then, with the grin of a demon, the wretch added. 

 " There's your togs, my flick?" Vhy, she arn't even left your 

 kickseys. Here I say, Bob," he bawled over the stairs, " Here's a 



femman in bed, and I'm blowed if old mother Mol Percy and her 

 arter hav'nt prigged his togs. Can't ve lend him a blanket ?" 

 " 1 should think not," said a good-natured voice from below. 

 " But the kiddy's werry hill." 



