200 THE LONDON NEWSPAPERS. 



"References of the first respectability" to persons who have been 

 raving ; and " Private families" accommodated with " keepers" upon 

 reasonable terms, " by the day, week, month, or year." 



And all these fierce competitors for preference, in their thousand- 

 and-one peculiar occupations and capacities the projector upon 

 Indian government, and the improver upon India soy the companies 

 in Bridge-street, who think of nothing but insuring life, and the 

 undertakers in Fleet-market, who thrive only upon its extinction 

 the draper, who founds himself entirely upon " Ten thousand pair 

 of warm Whitney blankets," and the perfumer, whose hope on this 

 side the grave is only to ensure " Universal ease and comfort in 

 shaving" the patent pen-maker, and the patent pin-maker the 

 mangle-maker and the spangle-maker the dealers in spring-guns, 

 and in pop-guns perigord pies, and artificial eyes sell you a 

 mango, dance you a fandango large Twelfth cakes, nobody but 

 Farance makes Paris stays raise the highways. These millions 

 are but the few who court popularity, at a peculiar expense, and 

 through one particular medium ! They are not the same as, but 

 over and above, the decorators of the dead walls of the town, posts, 

 obelisks, empty houses, and scaffoldings ; who address themselves 

 to the more busy crowd, who have not time to read newspapers, and 

 who can only pursue their researches, in pursuing their daily peram- 

 bulations " Matrimonial joys " "Suits for little boys" "Teach 

 the deaf and dumb" Great reduction in brandy and rum" "Man 

 taken up on suspicion of stealing !" " Tooth pulled out by Mr. 

 Jones, without feeling" "Portable gas" "Wild ass" "Poison 

 rats'' " Re-beavered hats" " Clergyman's widow in great dis- 

 tress" " New crapes and poplins for summer dress." There is no 

 place on earth, I believe, certainly none that ever I have visited, 

 where a man can get all he wants, and with so litle loss of time or 

 asking for, as in London. 



For the very thirst of gain, in fact, which makes us merciless arid 

 rapacious, completely ensures every one's getting his " money's 

 worth," and in his own way, too, for his money. If you only want 

 a ride that costs a shilling, you have a whole "stand" of cab and 

 hackney coachmen, threatening each other's lives which shall sell it 

 to you. If you have ten miles to go into the country the omnibus 

 that carries you for six-pence is, in truth, drawn and driven in a style 

 ten times beyond the state of an Italian marquis. Would you dine ? 

 dine at Harding's in Fleet-street sumptuously from \bd. to 

 10*. 6c?., or in any quarter in five minutes you have it on the table. 

 If you want a coat, the fashion changes five times before you can 

 determine which of the five hundred professors, who "unite elegance 

 with economy" for " prompt payment," best deserves your attention. 

 If you have a complaint, a thousand remedies are published in all 

 the shop windows nay, on men's backs about the streets, for your 

 particular salvation. And, after they have killed you, there is a 

 fight between the Wooden Coffin Undertaker and the Iron, in which 

 material you shall be buried. 



We sometimes meet with very funny things in the shape of adver- 

 tisements. Amongst the crowd of equivocal " Wants" of "plain 



