MULCIBKR SMITH. 525 



whispers an assignation she is true to her tryst, and he being a hand- 

 some fellow, imperfectly remembered, mistakes me for the valorous" de- 

 fender of her wrongs (none of your absurdities, Mulciber, I beg) and 

 I receive the reward of another's knightly devoir. This was no very safe 

 interpretation, I admit, but still the best." 



" Enough of idle conjecture, Fred; have you any more facts ? May I 

 be so bold as to inquire whether any other epistle was received by Cap- 

 tain Crush of the New Hummums ?" 



" Can you doubt it ? Posted straight to that very respectable estab- 

 lishment, left instructions to match the event, and on the second morn- 

 ing received the anxiously expected treasure. It was evidently the re- 

 sult of very hasty deliberation, and ran thus : ' To-morrow we leave 

 town for ten days. Sir Jaleel insists upon my accompanying him. As 

 soon as we return, I will again write.' Here, then, was a key that would 

 unlock the puzzle ; the heels of caution had been tripped up by the sud- 

 den contact of surprise " 



" Barbarian ! what a figure !" 



" and ' Sir Jaleel' at once released pussy from the sack. For two 

 mortal days was I employed in rummaging the columns of every morn- 

 ning and evening paper from the date to the imprint to discover what 

 ' Sir Jaleel' it might be who was about to leave or had left this teeming 

 town. Don't yawn, Mulciber, I have nearly done. On the morning of 

 the third my eyes were ravished with this announcement in the Post : 

 ' Sir Jaleel Sternhold left town, yesterday, for Sternhold Hall, Norfolk ; 

 the hon. bart. was accompanied by his daughter, the widow of the late 

 Colonel Hastings.' Mulciber, the perusal of that paragraph set my 

 brain a whirling ; a vision of rank and riches burst brightly before me ; 

 I received the sudden and delightful assurance that my fortune was 

 made ; it was my conviction then, and it is my conviction now." 



" Allow me, my dear fellow, to congratulate you upon the brilliant 

 prospect, and at the same time to assure you that, though doubtless it is 

 distinct enough to your own perceptions, I, for my part, have not the 

 faintest apprehension of what it may happen to be. Possibly, you may 

 be pleased to enlighten my understanding." 



" That woman, Mulciber, must be my wife." 



" We are in the dog days, Fred ; and I fear you are not quite sensi- 

 ble of your calamitous condition. You are rabid, my friend ; mad, ab- 

 solutely mad, and no longer a responsible agent. Let me suggest a few 

 weeks' quiet at some asylum ; Clapham is a quiet and salubrious region, 

 and " 



" Laugh at me, if you will, Mulciber; you, perhaps, see in all this 

 nothing but frantic romance ; but, believe me, it is a more matter of fact 

 affair than it seems. What have you done about your pamphlet on the 

 corn laws ; is it yet completed ?" 



" Mad as a muffin ! what has my pamphlet to do with your mounte- 

 bankism ? Upon my soul, Fred, you are seriously ill." 



" It has much to do with what you are pleased to term my mounte- 

 bankism. Is it finished in type ?" 



" Yes, and no ; done, but not printed." 



" That's lucky. Now, listen to me. You well know that Sir Jaleel 

 has of late been very roughly handled in parliament and by the press, 



