A CONVENIENT DISTANCE. 29 



There was no parrying this blow ; but Rufus resolved to avail 

 himself of the sweetest vengeance that occurred to him : knowing 

 that his visiters were fond of a little of the kidney, he swallowed 

 the whole of it himself. " Capital port this, Rufus. Now see, 

 Betsy, my dear, 't is, as I told you, a most convenient distance 

 plenty of time to take one's wine comfortably, get a cup of Ha! 

 where 's Tom ? O, I see him among the strawberries." Rufus 7 

 heart sank within him. " Can 't leave the little fellow with you 

 to-night, but he shall come and spend a month with you before 

 we lose the fine weather : nice distance for the boy. As I was 

 saying, time to take our wine and coffee ; at half-past eight the 

 stage calls for us, and at ten, there we are at home. Charming 

 distance is n't it, Betsy, my dear ?" Half past eight came, and 

 the guests went. This won't do, thought Rufus; but he not 

 only thought it, he said it, and swore it too. That night he 

 slept not. 



The next day (Saturday) he gave strict charge to the servants 

 that if any one should come to dinner, they were to say the fa- 

 mily were all out. The order happened to be needless, for no 

 one did come, and Rufus began to resume his usual good humour. 

 At eight o' clock a stage-coach drove up to the gate, and down 

 jumped a little, round, red, fat man, with a small portmanteau in 

 his hand, " Who the devil is that, and what can he want ?" 

 It was Mr. Wobble the underwriter, one of the pleasantest fel- 

 lows in the city, and one whom Mr. Wadd was always de- 

 lighted to see at other people's houses. "Ha! Wadd, my 



boy ! Mrs. W. I 'm yours. Ha ! Miss Jemima ! Delightful 

 house, I declare comes up to all I have heard of it ! And the 

 distance ! Stage sets you down at the very door, the very door. 

 Nice house, indeed, and Bow, wow, wow that '11 never do ; 

 you must chain up that dog to-night, Wadd; I can 7 t sleep in a 

 house where there is a dog barking." " Sleep !" echoed Wadd ; 

 " why surely you are not come to sleep here ? " " I 7 m not come 

 to lay awake all night, I can tell you that. Ha ! ha ! ha ! you 

 know my way : I always take the bull by the horns. Ha ! ha ! 

 ha! first come, first served. Ha! ha! ha! you may have your 

 house full to-morrow Sunday, you know and then Sam Wob- 

 ble might come off second best. But do n't put yourselves out of 

 the way; any thing will do for me; a garret, any thing, only let 

 me have a good bed and plenty of pillows. I leave that to you 

 my dear Mrs. W. I have a short neck, and must sleep with my 

 head high, else I might go off suddenly in the night, and a fune- 



