215 

 DELICATE EXCAVATION. 



The dining-room had not been finished when the day of the 

 dinner-party arrived, and the lower parts of the walls having only 

 that morning received their last coat of plaster, were, of course, 

 totally wet. 



We had intended to surprise my brother ; but had not calcu- 

 lated on the scene I was to witness. On driving to the cottage- 

 door I found it open, whilst a dozen dogs, of different descriptions, 

 showed ready to receive us not in the most polite manner. My 

 servant's whip, however, soon sent them about their business, and 

 I "ventured into the parlour to see what cheer. It was about ten 

 in the morning : the room was strewed with empty bottles some 

 broken some interspersed with glasses, plates, dishes, knives, 

 spoons, &c. all in glorious confusion. Here and there were heaps 

 of bones, relics of the former day's entertainment, which the dogs, 

 seizing their opportunity, had cleanly picked. Three or four of the 

 Bacchanalians lay fast asleep upon chairs one or two others on 

 the floor, among whom a piper lay on his back, apparently dead, 

 with a table-cloth spread over him, and surrounded by four or five 

 candles, burnt to the sockets ; his chanter and bags were laid scien- 

 tifically across his body, his mouth was quite open, and his nose 

 made ample amends for the silence of his drone. Joe Kelly and 

 a Mr. Peter Alley were fast asleep in their chairs, close to the wall. 



Had I never viewed such a scene before, it would have almost 

 terrified me ; but it was nothing more than the ordinary custom 

 which we called waking the piper, when he had got too drunk to 

 make any more music. 



I went out, and sent away my carriage and its inmate to Castle 

 D-urrow, whence we had come, and afterwards proceeded to seek 

 ray brother. No servant was to be seen, man or woman. I went 

 to the stables, wherein I found three or four more of the goodly 

 company, who had just been able to reach their horses, but were 

 seized by Morpheus before they could mount them, and so lay 

 in the mangers awaiting a more favourable opportunity. Return- 

 ing hence to the cottage, I found my brother, also asleep, on the 

 t>nly bed which it then afforded : he had no occasion to put on 

 his clothes, since he had never taken them off. 



I next waked Dan Tyron, a wood-ranger of Lord Ashbrook, 

 who had acted as maitre d'hotel in making the arrangements, and 

 providing a horse-load of game to fill up the banquet. I then 

 inspected the parlour, and insisted on breakfast. Dan Tyron set 



