1843-1845J Jessie at Chene 



heart. Here his name is in every mouth, and sorrow for 

 him in every heart, as if he had died but yesterday. Here, 

 too, every spot recalls some sweet memory of happiness and 

 love. I am too variable, and it is too soon to judge rightly, 

 but certainly as yet I am less unhappy here, for surely here 

 I made him happy. 



Bossi has written an article for the Almanack that pleases 

 me so perfectly, I really think he would be very capable of 

 undertaking the memoirs, but I am afraid to trust to my 

 own judgment, and I distrust his knowledge of a French 

 public, for whom they must be written. 



On Tuesday in the boat from Vevay here, I began to 

 suffer almost more than I could bear, when our own familiar 

 mountains showed themselves. Bossi met us with his car- 

 riages at the boat, unobtrusively tender as he always is, 

 but when at Chene I saw those stairs down which my Own 

 so rapidly ran to receive me if I had but taken a walk 

 without him, I thought my heart would break. It swelled 

 so as almost to suffocate me; but this first suffering over 

 I became every day less unhappy. On Wednesday morning 

 as soon as I was awake I went to my beloved grave. It 

 was full of flowers and a crown of everlasting was placed 

 at the head. I recognised the Gr. Duchess in that. She 

 is here, and has sent every day with great tenderness to 

 enquire news of me, saying she would come to me as soon 

 as I could see her without too much emotion. I have 

 written to her, and expect her every minute. I love her, 

 yet would much rather she had been at Berne. I wonder 

 then whether I do really love her, or can there be no amity 

 complete between the little and the great 1 Locked in the 

 churchyard by this dear grave I pass my best hours. I 

 pray there more fervently and with more hope than else- 

 where ; no one can see or hear me. I can call upon my Own 

 and talk to him as tho' he lived. I am almost ashamed to 

 tell you, it must seem so weak, but one strong feeling I really 

 believe enfeebles the mind, and I am quite aware I must 

 take arms against it. 



