1880-1882] My Father's Last Days 251 



My father's health had given much cause for uneasiness 

 in the autumn of 1881, but in the beginning of 1882 he was 

 for a time somewhat better. My husband and I were about 

 to buy a larger house, partly with a view of making their 

 visits to us more comfortable. 



Sunday [Jan. 21, 1882]. 



I am glad you have taken the step in favour of Kensing- 

 ton Square. I have no doubt that F. will get used to its 

 ways and find it come quite natural after a bit. 



I have been reading such old letters of my mother's, 

 about going to school; it is like looking into a forgotten 

 picture of myself. I sent a commission to aunt Eliz. in 

 London to buy me a gown for not more than 10/- (a cotton 

 one). 



At the end of the month my father's health relapsed. 

 All February and March he olid not dare to walk far from the 

 house for fear of the heart pain seizing him. He had, 

 however, happy times, sitting with my mother in the orchard, 

 with the crocus eyes wide open and the birds singing in the 

 spring sunshine. 



Dr Andrew Clark came on the 10th March to see him. On 

 the 13th I see my mother entered in her diary " looked out 

 of window," as if that was a step; then there came a rally of 

 a fortnight. Dr Norman Moore was also coming at intervals. 

 On the 17th April she wrote, " Good day, a little work, out 

 in orchard twice." On the 18th, " Fatal attack at 12." 



I arrived on the morning of the 19th and found him being 

 supported by my mother and by my brother Frank. She 

 went away for a little rest, whilst we stayed with him. 

 During that time he said to us, " You are the best of dear 

 nurses." But my mother and my sister soon had to be seat 

 for, and he peacefully died at half - past three on the 

 19th April. 



My mother was wonderfully calm from the very first, 

 and perfectly natural. She came down to the drawing- 

 room to tea, and let herself be amused at some little thing, 

 and smiled, almost laughed for a moment, as she would on 

 any other day. To us, who knew how she had lived hi his 

 life, how she had shared almost every moment as it passed, 

 her calmness and self-possession seemed wonderful then 

 and are wonderful now to look back upon. She lived 



