1880-1882] Notes of Memories 253 



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Happy Cambridge visit. Joyous arrival at 66 [Hills 

 Road, the Horace Darwins] admiring the house pretty 

 well all the time. . . . 



" His pleasure in the kind zeal of his sons in ' giving up 

 the study to him. 1 This remained fresh with him to the 

 last. Lying on sofa in drawing-room looking at what he 

 called Henrietta's shrine. 2 



' I will put down some things for fear I should forget if I 

 live long. Always speaking a gracious and tender word when 

 I came up at night 'It is almost worth while to be sick to 

 be nursed by you.' 



' ' I don't know what he said to which I answered, ' You 

 speak as if you had not done just the same for me.' 



" Oh that I could remember more but it was the same 

 loving gratitude many times a day. 



' Constantly suggesting my staying with the others. His 

 tenderness seemed to increase every day. George returned 

 from West Indies on Ap. 10 [1882]. C. not up to talking 

 for very long, but enjoyed George's news. . . . 



" On Tuesday, 18, at 12 at night, he woke me, saying, ' I 

 have got the pain, and I shah 1 feel better, or bear it better if 

 you are awake.' He had taken the anti-spasmodic twice. 



' I will only put down his words afterwards ' I am not 

 the least afraid of death.' ' Remember what a good wife 

 you have been to me.' ' Tell all my children to remember 

 how good they have been to me.' After the worst of the 

 distress he said, ' I was so sorry for you, but I could not 

 help you.' Then, ' I am glad of it,' when told I was lying 

 down. 'Don't call her; I don't want her.' Said often 

 ' It's almost worth while to be sick to be nursed by you.' . . . 



"2 May, 18S2. 



" I can call back more precious memories by looking only 

 a short while back. . . . On Sunday, Jan. 8 [1882], the 

 ' Sunday Tramps.' 3 C. was delightful to them and enjoyed 

 their visit heartily. . . . Mar. 3. His state was now more 

 languid, walking short distances very slowly. (I remember 

 one walk with him to the Terrace on a beautiful, still, bright 

 day, I suppose in Feb.). ... A peaceful time without much 

 suffering exquisite weather often loitering out with him. 



1 Meaning that they insisted on his taking the billiard-room for 

 his study and giving up his old small one. 



2 My arrangement of some old china and pictures that faced him 

 as he lay on the drawing-room sofa. 



3 Walking parties arranged by Sir Leslie Stephen, Sir F. Pollock 

 and others 



