256 A Century of Family Letters [CHAP, xvn 



ever paid you, and have only the impression of peaceful 

 happiness and very little unwellness. Pleasant excursions 

 or short drives, and the pleasant change of you returning 

 from your work with a little news sitting on your lawn, 

 which I always imagine in sunshine. 



Emma Darwin to her daughter Henrietta Litchfield. 



Saturday, May 13*A, 1882. 



I am trying to make stages in the day of something special 

 to do. It often comes over me with a wave of desolate feel- 

 ing that there is nothing I need do, and I think of your true 

 words, " Poor mother, you have time enough now." The 

 regularity of my life was such an element of happiness, and 

 to be received every time I joined him by some word of 

 welcome, and to feel that he was happier that very minute 

 for my being with him. Some regrets will still come on, 

 but I don't encourage them. I look forward to Wednesday, 

 my dearest, and feel it such a comfort to write and tell you 

 everything. 



June 8th, 1882. 



... I can quite understand that the change to home gave 

 you a fresh set of painful and melancholy feelings. I am 

 sure you will like to hear, my dear one, that I do quite well 

 without you, though it is a never ceasing comfort to have 

 you. Just when I parted with you I had a vivid and 

 painful regret which sometimes returns and sometimes is 

 softened away, and so it made me feel your going more. 

 Sara being here these two days when I was uncomfortable 

 was a great comfort, as she made it pleasant for Hensleigh 

 and Fanny. . . I like to think how often you were here with 

 him all these years, and how he liked your coming. * If 

 we had known ' ' everyone may say but then there would 

 not have been the security of all these years, which itself is 

 such a great part of happiness. . . . 



