ioo A Century of Family Letters [CHAP, vn 



a moment's hesitation in every regulation of economy it 

 may be necessary to adopt. How poor John has been able 

 to endure as well as he has, what has been his lot for the 

 last few months, I cannot tell, but I have the comfort of 

 thinking that his health is not hurt by it, and for the future, 

 whatever may betide us, I am sure his load will be the 

 lighter for our participation. If reserve were not incurable, 

 I should hope he would lose the habit of being so from 

 his late sufferings, and the relief I am sure he has had from 

 opening his mind; at the same time I must bear testimony 

 to the beauty of his temper, which with such a load on his 

 heart has never for an instant been betrayed into the 

 slightest irritation, nor indeed has it made him withdraw 

 from general sympathy in what was happening round him. 



Yesterday was a day of dreadful anxiety to us, but 

 towards the evening money, in the course of business, 

 flowed in, and when they shut shop their spirits were a 

 good deal revived. This however is only temporary, and 

 I will keep this open to tell you the result of to-day : if we 

 are at last to fall, I grieve over these delays, but I am 

 anxious to assure you, and my dear and anxious Bessy, 

 that all our spirits are suffering much less than you may 

 imagine them to do. The idea of ruin has so often been 

 present to my mind, that it comes at last without a shock. 

 Indeed a chance call from Mr Parke yesterday presented 

 us with schemes as a resource for our future life, if the worst 

 befalls us. His daughter is now at Boulogne, where the 

 houses and articles of life are so cheap that I don't know 

 that we could do better than in going there. One of its 

 greatest advantages is the ease and cheapness of getting 

 there. It is not so far as Exeter from hence, and then, my 

 dear Jos, I should not feel as if I was going to quit you for 

 ever, as I am sure our best friends would not fail to seek us 

 out. Sometimes the society of my friends is dearer to ine 

 ' than gold, yea, than much fine gold," therefore, I will not 

 if I can help it, go beyond their reach. Till post-time 

 farewell. 



To-morrow will seal our doom either for good or for bad 



