1819] 123 



CHAPTER X 



1819 



Jessie Allen and Sismondi An outpouring to her sister Bessy's 

 reply Some account of Sismondi Their early married life 

 Posting across France. 



IN the autumn of 1818 Jessie, Emma, and Fanny Allen 

 came back after their three years' absence on the Continent. 

 As has appeared, Sismondi had proposed to Jessie in 1816, 

 and although he had been refused he continued his suit. 

 The following letter shows her frame of mind. She was 

 staying at Cresselly with her brother John and his wife. 



Jessie Allen to her sister Mrs Josiah Wedgwood, 



CRESSELLY, Dec. 2 [1818]. 



I love to be called upon for a letter by my own Bessy. 

 Mrs Allen received yours yesterday, and there was a sweet 

 remembrance to me. I have not written to you since I 

 have been in England, because others have, from where I 

 have been, which rendered it unnecessary. I have been 

 myself in such a painful state of indecision and doubt I 

 could not have any pleasure in writing, and I did not like 

 to speak openly till I knew my own mind better; and I 

 was continually expecting to know it, and continually awoke 

 hesitating, indecisive, and uncomfortable as I went to bed. 

 I would have given anything to have talked with you, con- 

 sulted with you, but I should have had no comfort in writing. 

 I forget that all this is algebra to you, but I left Geneva 

 promising Sismondi to reconsider his offer, and try if while in 

 England I found my heart steadily rejected him. It did not, 

 even while I persisted in refusing him. I did not intend 



