CURIOSITIES OF OYSTERS. 905 



he only answered, ' Oysters, my dear. ' When the 

 table-cloth was taken away she said, 'Well, my dear, I'll 

 take the chariot !' To which he again replied, ' Oysters !' 

 She dropped a curtsey, and confessed she was in error, and 

 stood reproved. On retiring, Sir Richard's friend thus 

 addressed him : ' Sir, absurd as your answer might seem 

 to others, I know your manner so well that I am assured 

 there is some moral instruction in your word oysters ; as it 

 must be some gentle reproof do me the favour to let me 

 into the secret of it.' ' You know,' said Sir Richard, ' that 

 we have just set up a chariot ; and being apprehensive that 

 it might have such an effect on my wife's heart that she 

 might inconsiderately talk of it too much, thereby betray- 

 ing a weakness of mind I would gladly have prevented, I 

 told her a story of a young fellow who had lately set up an 

 equipage, and had always the vanity to be talking about it, 

 which was as follows : 



" Ned Sparkins, on the death of his elder brother, left 

 the attorney to whom he was clerk, set up an equipage, 

 and commenced petit maitre. He was fond of his chariot ; 

 thus he was seldom out of it, or hardly a moment without 

 making some mention of it. He was one day talking with 

 some gentlemen in the Mall, when one of them asked him to 

 be one of the party to dine at an eating-house near Charing 

 Cross. ' With all my heart, my dear Sir,' says Ned. ' I'll 

 step to my servant, and give him some orders about the 

 chariot, and be with you again in a moment.' 



" On this, one of the gentlemen said, ' How can you ask 

 that puppy to be with us ? We shall hear of nothing but 

 his chariot. I'll lay half a dozen of claret he talks of 

 within ten minutes after the time he comes into the room. 

 ' As I think that impossible,' says another, ' It is a bet.' 



