THE PHYSICAL BEETHOVEN 267 



'Contemplation of this affliction, he writes to his brothers, " brought me 

 to the brink of despair, and had well nigh made me put an end to my 

 life. . . . Recommend virtue to your children ; that alone — not wealth — 

 ■can give happiness. I speak from experience. It was this that upheld 

 me even in affliction ; it is owing to this and my art that I did not 

 terminate my life by suicide." 



From this time he seems to have become reconciled to the worst. 

 There is in his letters little mention of illness for the next twelve years, 

 and he was apparently in robust health. Nevertheless, disease was his 

 •constant companion and his deafness steadily progressed. In 1805 he 

 was able to judge severely of the musical expression in the rehearsal of 

 his opera. In 1814 he played his B flat trio. From 1816 to 1818 he 

 Tised an ear trumpet. He continued to conduct his works, but in 1822 

 nearly brought the performance to ruin, although he was able to detect 

 that the soprano was not singing in tune. Later in the same year he 

 again attempted to conduct, but with such ill success that he did not 

 try it again. This event meant so much to him that it marked another 

 epoch in his life. From this time he was able to communicate with his 

 friends only by writing. 



The loss of his hearing undoubtedly had a most depressing effect 

 upon his general health, and besides he was "constantly on bad terms 

 with his digestive organs." His magnificent constitution was, however, 

 as yet hardly touched by his continued ailments. In his collected letters 

 there are from 1816 numerous notes to Archduke Eudolph begging ill 

 health in apology for failure to keep his engagements as tutor to his 

 highness. These are perhaps not to be taken so seriously as they sound, 

 since he took little pleasure in his tutorship, though they indicate his 

 continuous ailments. 



In 1817 there are, however, letters to friends telling of his more 

 serious illness. In June he wrote : " I caught a very severe cold which 

 forced me to keep my bed for a long time and many months passed 

 before I could venture out." After much drugging with powders and 

 tinctures he is taking the baths at Heiligenstadt. He feels "that for 

 several years [his] health has been steadily getting worse." 



In 1818-1819 his health was much better and his devotion to the 

 •composition of his mass was extraordinary. Never had he been known 

 to be so entirely abstracted from external things. It is to these years 

 that the Ninth Symphony and the great Mass in D belong. 



In 1821 he was laid up with a severe attack of rheumatism. He 

 was at Baden for a part of the time and for some two years he was 

 •quite ill. 



In February, 1822, he writes: "Last night I was again attacked by 

 ear ache from which I generally suffer at this season of the year." 



From 1823 on he was more or less continuously ill and under con- 



