ON THE EQUALITY OF THE SEXES. 559 



of it must either be by law or by a dissolution of tlie partnership at 

 the will of the contracting parties. 



4. Law could give no remedy in such a case. Therefore the only 

 remedy for breach of the contract would be dissolution of the mar- 

 riage. 



5. Therefore, if marriage is to be permanent, the government of 

 the family mwst be put by law and by moral rules in the hands of the 

 husband, for no one proposes to give it to the wife. 



Mr. Mill is totally unable to meet this argument, and apparently 

 embraces the alternative that marriage ought to be dissoluble at the 

 pleasure of the parties. After much argument as to contracts which 

 appear to be visionary, his words are these : " Things never come to 

 an issue of downright power on one side and obedience on the other 

 except where the connection has been altogether a mistake, and it 

 would be a blessing to both parties to be relieved from it." 



This appears to me to show a complete misapprehension of the 

 nature of family government, and of the sort of cases in which the 

 question of obedience and authority can arise between husband and 

 wife. No one contends that a man ought to have power to order his 

 wife about like a slave, and beat her if she disobeys him. Such con- 

 duct in the eye of the law would be cruelty, and ground for a separa- 

 tion. The question of obedience arises in quite another way. It may, 

 and no doubt often does, arise between the very best and most affec- 

 tionate married people, and it need no more interfere with their mutual 

 affection than the absolute power of the captain of a ship need inter- 

 fere with perfect friendship and confidence between himself and his first- 

 lieutenant. Take the following set of questions : " Shall we live on this 

 scale or that ? Shall we associate with such and such persons ? Shall 

 I, the husband, embark in such an undertaking, and shall we change 

 our place of residence in order that I may do so ? Shall we send 

 our son to college ? Shall we send our daughters to school or have a 

 governess ? For what profession shall we train our sons ? " On these 

 and a thousand other such questions the wisest and the most affection- 

 ate people might arrive at opposite conclusions. What is to be done 

 in such a case ? for something must be done. I say the wife ought to 

 give way. She ought to obey her husband, and carry out the view at 

 which he deliberately arrives, just as, when the captain gives the word 

 to cut away the masts, the lieutenant carries out his orders at once, 

 though he may be a better seaman and may disapprove them. I also 

 say that, to regard this as a humiliation, as a wrong, or as an evil in 

 itself, is a mark not of spirit and courage, but of a base, unworthy, 

 mutinous disposition a disposition utterly subversive of all that is 

 most worth having in life. The tacit assumption involved in it is that 

 it is a degradation ever to give up one's own will to the will of another, 

 and to me this appears the root of all evil, the negation of that which 

 renders any combined efforts possible. No case can be specified in 



