THE UTILITY OF DRUNKENNESS. 787 



saturnalia of animal exaltation, which they enjoy so heartily that every 

 new raving outbreak only whets their appetite for a repetition. While 

 sober they actually arrange and prepare for a forthcoming holiday 

 booze ; work and save money for the avowed purpose of purchasing 

 the drink and its consequent ecstasies, which constitute the chief de- 

 lights of their existence. When a professional criminal has " served 

 his time," and is about to be released from prison, his faithful friends 

 club together to supply him with the consolation of an uninterrupted 

 course of intoxication ; the longer its duration the greater his happi- 

 ness, and the deeper his obligations of gratitude to the contributing 

 "pals." 



We know that such indulgence has swept away the Red Indian 

 savage from the American Continent, and prepared it for a higher civ- 

 ilization, as the mammoth and grizzly bear have made way for the sheep 

 and oxen ; and this beneficent agent, if allowed to do its natural 

 work, will similarly remove the savage elements that still remain as 

 impediments to the onward progress of the more crowded communi- 

 ties of the Old World. If those who love alcoholic drinks for the sake 

 of the excitement they induce are only supplied with cheap and abun- 

 dant happiness, our criminal and pauper population will be reduced to 

 a minimum. 



It is commonly supposed that, because nearly all criminals are 

 drunkards, therefore drunkenness is the chief cause of crime. This 

 is a confusion of cause with effect. Crime and drunkenness go to- 

 gether because they are concurrent effects of the same organization. 

 Alcoholic stimulation merely removes prudence and brings out true 

 character without restraint or disguise. The brute who beats his 

 wife when drunk would do so when sober if he dared and could ; but 

 what we call the sober state is with him a condition of cowardly de- 

 pression and feebleness due to the reaction of intoxication. If a num- 

 ber of quarrelsome men assemble and drink together, they finish with 

 fighting. If a similar number of kindly disposed men drink together, 

 they overflow with generosity, profuse friendliness, and finally become 

 absurdly affectionate. The citizen who would have subscribed but 

 one guinea to a charity before dinner will give his name for five after 

 the " toast of the evening." 



My general conclusion is that all human beings (excepting the few 

 dipsomaniacs above-named), who are fit to survive as members of a 

 civilized community, will spontaneously avoid intemperance, provided 

 no artificial pressure of absurd drinking customs is applied to them, 

 while those who are incapable of the general self-restraint demanded 

 by advancing civilization, and can not share its moral and intellectual 

 refinements, are provided by alcoholic beverages with the means of 

 "happy dispatch," will be gradually sifted out by natural alcoholic 

 selection, provided no legislative violence interferes with their desire 

 for " a short life ^nd a merry one." Gentleman ' Magazine. 



