6 



THE POPULAR SCIENCE MONTHLY.— SUPPLEMENT. 



quainted with the science of sociology. It is 

 therefore inevitable that, the evils of existence 

 being thus removed, we shall both be solemnly, 

 stupendously, and unspeakably happy." 



" Nonsense ! " said Virginia, snappishly, who 

 thought the professor was joking. 



" It is not nonsense," said the professor. " It 

 is deducible from the teachings of John Stuart 

 Mill, of Auguste Comte, of Mr. Frederic Harri- 

 son, and of all the exact thinkers who have cast 

 off superstition, and who adore Humanity." 



Virginia meanwhile ate pdte-de-foie-gras, of 

 which she was passionately fond ; and, growing 

 a little less sullen, she at last admitted that they 

 were lucky in having at least the necessaries of 

 life left to them. 



" But as for happiness — there is nothing to 

 do here, there is no church to go to, and you 

 don't seem to care a bit for my dressing-gown. 

 What have we got to make us happy ? " 



" Humanity " — replied the professor, eagerly 

 — " Humanity, that divine entity, which is, of 

 course, capable of everything that is fine and 

 invaluable, and is the object of indescribable 

 emotion to all exact thinkers. And what is Hu- 

 manity ? " he went on, more earnestly, " you and 

 I are Humanity — you and I are that august ex- 

 istence. You already are all the world to me ; 

 and I very soon shall be all the world to you. 

 Adored being, it will be my mission and my 

 glory to compel you to live for me. And then, 

 as modern philosophy can demonstrate, we shall 

 both of us be significantly and unspeakably hap- 



py." 



For a few moments Virginia merely stared 

 at Paul. Suddenly she turned quite pale, her 

 lips quivered, and, exclaiming — 



" How dare you ? — and I, too, the wife of a 

 bishop ! " she left the room in hysterics. 



The professor could make nothing of this. 

 Though he had dissected many dead women, he 

 knew very little of the hearts of live ones. A 

 sense of shyness overpowered him. He felt em- 

 barrassed, he could not tell why, at being thus 

 left alone with Virginia. He lit a cigar, and 

 went out. Here was a to-do indeed, he thought. 

 How would progress be pos'sible if one-half of 

 Humanity misunderstood the other ? 



He was thus musing, when suddenly a voice 

 startled him ; and in another moment a man 

 came rushing up to him, with every demonstra- 

 tion of joy. 



" Oh, my dear master ! oh, emancipator of 

 the human intellect ! and is it, indeed, you ? 

 Thank God ! — I beg pardon for my unspeakable 



blasphemy — I mean, thank circumstances over 

 which I have no control." 



It was one of the three curates, whom Paul 

 had supposed drowned, but who now related how 

 he had managed to swim ashore, despite the ex- 

 treme length of his black clerical coat. 



" These rags of superstition," he said, " did 

 their best to drown me. But I survive in spite 

 of them, to covet truth and to reject error. 

 Thanks to your glorious teaching," he went on, 

 looking reverentially into the professor's face, 

 " the very notion of an Almighty Father makes me 

 laugh consumedly, it is so absurd and so immoral. 

 Science, through your instrumentality, has opened 

 my eyes. I am now an exact thinker." 



" Do you believe," said Paul, " in solemn, 

 significant, and unspeakably happy Humanity ? " 



"I do," said the curate, fervently. " When- 

 ever I think of Humanity, I groan and moan to 

 myself out of sheer solemnity." 



" Then two-thirds of Humanity," said the pro- 

 fessor, "are thoroughly enlightened. Progress 

 will now go on smoothly." 



At this moment Virginia came out, having 

 rapidly recovered composure at the sound of a 

 new man's voice. 



"You here — you, too?" exclaimed the cu- 

 rate. " How solemn, how significant ! This is 

 truly providential — I mean this has truly hap- 

 pened through conformity to the laws of mat- 

 ter ! " 



" Well," said Virginia, " since we have a cler- 

 gyman among us, we shall perhaps be able to get 

 on." 



VII. 



Things now took a better turn. The pro- 

 fessor ceased to feel shy; and proposed, when 

 the curate had finished an enormous breakfast, 

 that they should go down to the cutter, and 

 bring up the things in it to the cottage. " A few 

 hours' steady progress," he said, " and the hu- 

 man race will command all the luxuries of civili- 

 zation — the glorious fruits of centuries of onward 

 labor." 



The three spent a very busy morning in ex- 

 amining and unpacking the luggage. The pro- 

 fessor found his favorite collection of modern 

 philosophers ; Virginia found a large box of knick- 

 knacks, with which to adorn the cottage ; and 

 there was, too, an immense store of wine and of 

 choice provisions. 



" It is rather sad," sighed Virginia, as she 

 dived into a box of French chocolate-creams, " to 

 think that all the poor people are drowned that 

 these thinsrs belonged to." 



