AN EXPERIENCE WITH OPIUM. 



337 



restraint. So far from being a prisoner, he was encouraged in taking 

 walks and drives alone, or, with his fellow-patients, in attending even- 

 ing amusements, etc. It was the doctor's theory that a person of any 

 sensitiveness of nature could not rest under constant suspicion with- 

 out a sense of resentment which would be prejudicial to the cordial 

 relation which should always exist between physician and patient. 

 "I ask for and extend confidence," he said, "and believe I largely en- 

 hance a good result in so doing. Nor do I share in the opinion, largely 

 held, that no reliance is to be placed upon the word of the opium 

 habitue." Though he was well aware that this morbid habit in many 

 cases exerts a baneful influence on the moral character, it is manifest 

 that were the doctor's theory of his patient's reliability and truthful- 

 ness altogether erroneous any plan of treatment based upon it would 

 be entirely impracticable, however agreeable to the patients this view 

 of their character. 



Within a week after the beginning of treatment my opiate was all 

 withdrawn. What I had undergone at the end of that period, and, in- 

 deed, for a day or two subsequent to the total discontinuance, could 

 scarcely be called suffering ; it was rather a dull, heavy listlessness, as 

 little painful as enjoyable. There was no mental or physical elasticity; 

 exercise was not inviting nor, indeed, was there the physical ability 

 for it. It became impossible to read or even to think, except in an 

 idle way. There was no pain or nervousness ; but principally a feel- 

 ing of passive discomfort during this period, when the discontinuance 

 of opium, unaided, would have brought on penal tortures. 



Thus " the Rubicon was crossed " this being the exultant phrase 

 with which the doctor greeted one after the other of our little band, 

 as he passed over that hitherto impassable stream. But the few days 

 succeeding the total deprivation were not so passive. Though I had 

 landed on the other bank of that classic stream, the tu<r of war was 

 yet to come. That power in the human system which at times seems 

 endowed with a personality of its own that dual existence, as it were, 

 with its Briarean arms of nerves revolted. There was a period of 

 disturbance and prostration of strength, with some restlessness. I was 

 for a while the prey of illusions of sight and sound. " Materialized 

 spirits" from the other world seemed at times to hover about my bed, 

 as visible, if not as palpable, as the furniture of my room. But more 

 deceptive still was a loud, sharp voice by which I was addressed occa- 

 sionally, it seemed, by some person concealed behind the head-board 

 of the bedstead ; no speech of man will ever sound more real to me. 

 These were illusions of my waking hours. But the period of prostra- 

 tion which they accompanied was short ; and within a few days I 

 again took my place at the table with the family. 



More or less insomnia is probably inevitable under any circum- 

 stances after the discontinuance of opium. In my convalescence and 

 the experience was parallel with that of my fellow-patients it was 

 vol. xxvn. 22 



