ESSAYS 321 



punctual return." Again we notice the implied privilege given to girls, another 

 injustice to the male sex. Girls, it would appear, may return on any day they 

 please, but boys must return punctually to the day — a very proper regulation, no 

 doubt, but which day ? Two days have already been mentioned, and a third is 

 mentioned in the next regulation but one. 



" Where one of two brothers is for any reason detained at home " — Where ? 

 why, obviously, at home. Surely the boys that attend X College are not so 

 stupid as not to know they are at home when they are at home, but no doubt the 

 headmaster knows best — " the other must not be kept back, except where one of 

 the two is too young to travel alone, in which case the House Master should be 

 communicated with, and permission asked." This is clear enough. The only 

 place in which the other may be kept back is the place in which one of the two 

 is too young to travel alone. What curious boys the boys that attend X College 

 must be ! In some place or places a boy may be too young to travel alone, and 

 in another place, or other places, he may not. No doubt the headmaster is 

 acquainted with the peculiarities of his boys, and it is benevolent of him to take 

 them thus into account and allow for them. " For all boys who return late on the 

 ground of health, a certificate, signed by a Doctor, will be requisite.'' To a 

 certain extent this clears up our uncertainty. It appears that the ground of 

 health is the place at which one of the two is too young to travel alone, and yet it 

 is hard to say. The ground of health may be the reason why boys return late, 

 so that it seems they may return late either on the ground of health or on the 

 ground of illness. In any case, it does not appear that the boys who return late 

 on the ground of illness require a certificate signed by a Doctor, but only those 

 who return late on the ground of health. What unblushing effrontery the young 

 rascals must exhibit ! 



" The Principal hopes that no application for extension of holiday may be 

 made to him or to any House Master which is not covered by this notice." We 

 have heard much of the hauteur and arrogance with which the headmasters of 

 public schools treat their assistant masters, but we have never before known a 

 headmaster to depersonalise his assistants, and speak of them as if they were 

 things, mere chattels, as this Principal does. It seems, too, that he covers his 

 House Masters with notices ! Tyrannical despot ! 



"All New Boys without exception are required to be in the College a day 

 before the old boys return. Boarders must be at their Houses before 6 p.m. on 

 Tuesday, May 1st." This would be clear enough if only we knew on what day 

 the old boys return. As at present advised, it seems that it may be Tuesday, 

 Wednesday, or Thursday ; and suppose some of the old boys return on one of 

 these days and some on another, how are all new boys to regulate the time of 

 their arrival? It seems that the only safe course would be to arrive on Monday, 

 but this would not really be safe, for the holidays end on Wednesday, and some 

 of the boys need not arrive till Thursday, and the miserable boys will be held 

 '"''personally responsible for their punctual return," so that if they return either too 

 late or too early they will be punished. I hesitate to attribute any such diabolical 

 design to any headmaster, but it does seem as if the Principal were determined to 

 catch the boys one way or the other, and by hook or by crook make them 

 punishable. 



" Day boys must present themselves at the College at 9 a.m. on Wednesday, 

 May 2nd, or (see below) on the previous evening." Boarders are to be in their 

 Houses on Tuesday, and day boys must present themselves on Wednesday, and 

 all boys (whether previously at the College or not) must be in school on Thursday. 



