324 Office of the Gland 



whilst I am standing above them ; and I can affirm that they 

 never do walk on the bottom. Now, the rivulets frequented 

 by the water ouzel afford numberless opportunities to the ob- 

 server who wishes to watch the motions of this bird. He has 

 only to conceal himself behind some rock which rises from the 

 stream, or to show himself suddenly on the bank of the brook 

 where the water ouzel is found, and he will see the little bird 

 go under water, and he will be able to trace its downward 

 process. He then fancies that he sees it walk on the 

 ground, when, in fact, it does no such thing ; the observer's 

 own eyes, in this instance, giving him false information. 



Monsieur Herbert was the first man on record, according 

 to BufFon, who persuaded himself that the water ouzel actually 

 performed the impossible feat of walking on the ground at the 

 bottom of streams; and he communicated his supposed dis- 

 covery to the count, whose gullet, in this case, seems to have 

 been fully as capacious as that of the Rev. Orpen Morris. 

 The water ouzel appeared, says Monsieur Herbert, " enve- 

 loped with air, which gave it a brilliant surface." Now, we 

 all know that this garment of air would have added consider- 

 ably to the natural levity of the bird. It ought to have had 

 a roquelaure of lead, not of air. " It seemed to quiver,'* 

 continues Monsieur Herbert. There would have appeared 

 no quivering, had the bird been really walking on terra 

 Jirma. 



If the water ouzel, which is specifically lighter than water, 

 can manage, by some inherent power, to walk on the ground 

 at the bottom of a rivulet ; then there is great reason to hope 

 that we, who are heavier than air, may, any day, rise up into 

 it, unassisted by artificial apparatus, such as wings, gas, steam, 

 or broom-staff. 



The Rev. Orpen Morris now bestirs himself in support of 

 the idle fable ; but, being hard pressed for a demonstration of 

 the supposed subaquatic promenade, he refers us to other 

 writers ! and there the matter rests. 



[ The Question of the Office of the Gland upon the Rump of 

 Birds. (V. 412—415.; VI. 159—162. 277, 278.; VIII. 375. 

 note *, 514, 515. 637.; IX. 158—164. 266—271.] 



His lucubrations on the oil gland require a word or two 

 more from me. He says he had given me credit for some 

 little knowledge "of the rudiments of natural history," to 

 which he now finds out that I have no claim. If Mr. Lou- 

 don's readers should agree with his reverence in this, then 

 I am, undoubtedly, in a bad way. I have had the honour of 

 large dealings with them for some years. 



They must, by this time, have formed a tolerably correct 



