A STORY FOR OUR CONTEMPORARIES. 



Stop &l)ie{ ! LONDON CRY. 



A VERY worthy old gentleman, a true descendant of the Bull family, lived for 

 many years in Ave-Maria Lane (he has since removed to Wellington Street, in 

 the Strand). We may, as having enjoyed a long acquaintance with him, be 

 possibly deemed partial in our estimation of his many excellent qualities of heart 

 and head, therefore, we shall not trust ourselves to dwell on his many accom- 

 plishments, native and acquired. We care not to pass eulogies on his profound 

 views as a statesman, his boldness in telling truths, no matter how unpalatable. 

 We shall not even adduce a single bon-mot as a sparkling evidence of the pearls 

 and diamonds which, in his lighter moods, are wont to drop from his mouth. Not 

 a poetic line shall we quote in proof of his sublimer aspirations. No. We shall 

 merely confine ourselves to a notice of domestic virtues ; and first, nay, and last 

 of all, to that great virtue great as being composed of many, great as being na- 

 tural, ere stupid wars brought taxes, and taxes made selfishness almost an instinct 

 among men to that beautiful virtue, that glorious remnant of the golden age 

 HOSPITALITY. 



The gentleman we write of, lived with open doors. It was his custom, once 

 a month, to furnish a banquet for all comers. It was his pride to have his tables 

 spread, not only with fine substantial dishes the huge sirloin, the buttock, and 

 the chine but lighter viands, with every delicacy of the season. His wishes 

 for many feeders were amply satisfied persons of all conditions sat at the board, 

 at .which there was no " above" or " below the salt," but all sat as they chose, 

 and fed at their ease. 



The host had an infirmity of temper, it must be owned he was at times 

 irascible, and the colour would come into his cheeks, and he would have to 

 bolt a rising exclamation, when he found, as he often did, an ungrateful return 

 for all his benevolence. He was very particular in his plate ; his silver spoons, 

 forks, and tankards, were of a pattern generally much admired. On these articles 

 were engraved his initials and crest. He certainly prized his plate ; vet so free 



In the course of the past month not that the shabbiness, we are about to speak 

 of, is of so late an origin, but, perhaps, it was never before so generally adopted 

 the old gentleman, going about all parts of the town, dined at various ordinaries 

 " Ha ! ha !" cried he, as he sat down to chop and peas, " one of my silver forks, I 

 see !" He knew it at a glance the article was certainly from his plate chest, but 

 looking at the head, what was his surprise to find that his initials and crest were 

 completely erased, and that, as he learned from a by-sitter, the fork was looked 

 upon as the original property of the house. The old gentleman swallowed an 

 oath. Well, the next day, during the hot weather, he walked into a confectioner's 

 to take an ice. "So," he observed, " one of my spoons ! ' The s"poon had shared 

 the fate of the fork the crest and the initials were scratched out. The old gen- 

 tleman hurried out of the shop, exclaiming at the injustice and ingratitude of the 

 world. On the same evening he visited a famous ale-house, and called for a 

 draught of Burton." Dear me !" he cried, " I declare my tankard !" The 

 tankard was no better off than the fork and the spoon its distinguishing letters 

 and armorial bearings were gone ; whilst, what rendered the injury more annoj ing, 

 the ale-keeper had been greatly praised for his unique silver mug ! 



The old gentleman has related all his griefs to us, and begs us to print the follow 

 notice for our contempories : " GENTLEMEN ARE VERY WELCOME TO THE 



LOAN OF A SILVER SPOON, A FORK, OR TANKARD, BUT ARE REQUESTED NOT TO 

 SCRATCH OUT THE OWNER'S NAME. 



" N.B. THIS OFFER DOES NOT APPLY TO THOSE WHOLESALE BORROWERS, 

 WHO WOULD MAKE USE OF THE WHOLE PLATE CHEST. 



0* SAMPLE OF SOME GENTLEMAN'S AUTO-BIOGRAPHY. We have had the 

 advantage of seeing " Some Gentleman." He has unexpectedly returned from 

 Hobart Town, and promises a further sample of what has occurred to him for 

 our next number. We took the precaution of treating with him under the 

 protecting presence of Mr. Adolphus. He squints but in other respects is of 

 a most prepossessing appearance. He complains bitterly of some other gentleman 

 having picked up a small matter of his private history, and called it " An Incident 

 in the Life of A RASCAL !" A Rascal, indeed .'How would some (or, indeed, any) 

 other gentleman, he indignantly asks, like to have the particulars of his wedding, or 

 anv other event of his career, published under such a title ? 



