Notes of the Month. 1 1 



lifting up the laurels from Oliver's ear, whispered therein, " iron window 

 blinds, bullet proof," the Protector might have laughed to scorn the 

 plots of Cavaliers and the defection of Round-heads. It was, however, 

 reserved for a more modern Caesar to transform his palace into a fortress, 

 and to " turn an iron lining on the mob " ! Whilst in Apsley House, the 

 Duke of Wellington's body is as proof to gun-shot, as his mind in another 

 place is proof to argument. He can now snap his fingers equally at air- 

 guns and the Lord Chancellor. He is now as safe as though, like his 

 prototype Achilles, he had been dipped in Styx : and if, indeed, he has 

 one vulnerable part, its locality differs from that of the Greek. In 

 addition, however, to the iron window blinds, the " divinities" which do 

 " hedge " the Prince of Waterloo, we understand that the whole establish- 

 ment of Apsley House (doubtless in case of a siege) has been rendered 

 military. The butler practises daily with the broad-sword, the cook kills 

 every thing at thirty paces, and several of the chamber-maids and 

 kitchen-girls are already remarkably expert at platoon firing. 



THE DEAD AND ALIVE. Some few years ago, a very respectable 

 gentleman, much loved in his immediate neighbourhood, and honoured 

 by all the world declined in health, and resolved to call in the doctor. 

 In fact he was become old, and had all the outward and internal signs of 

 age. He had " a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, 

 a decreasing leg, an increasing belly " and in spite of all remonstrance, 

 the doctors he would have ; he took their prescriptions, and, as many of 

 his cronies had predicted, expired. The preparations were made for his 

 interment. Several orators made the most touching harangues over the 

 body. The undertaker was desired to screw down the coffin lid, when, to 

 the amazement of all, up rose the alleged deceased, and, with an admira- 

 ble appetite, fell to his own funeral baked meats. Thrice within a few 

 years had the grave been dug for this old gentleman, and thrice had he 

 disappointed the undertaker. Within this last week or two it was given 

 out that he had yielded up the ghost ; mutes were placed at his door, 

 and all things were ready for the funeral ; when it appeared that he whom 

 it was they wished to bury, was never in such robust health from the day 

 of his birth. This circumstance was more fully impressed upon us by a 

 glance at the names of some of the candidates for the new parliament. 

 It will be remembered how many of them gave up the constitution as 

 totally defunct, and now we see them, having hurriedly cast off their 

 hat-bands and mourning-cloaks, having left the undertaker's wine and 

 cake untasted, cap in hand, begging to be again considered the humble 

 servants of this thrice-raised Lazarus ! All we hope is, that the people 

 will keep an eye on these prophets. As for the English Constitution, it 

 must be a vulgar error that attributes its origin to the will of the barons 

 operating on the weakness of King John, that must be quite a mistake. 

 No, if we may judge from events, the English Constitution is nearly the 

 eldest born of Grimalkin, the king of the cats, its lives multiplied to a 

 right royal number. 



THE MANAGER ON HIS TRAVELS. The Morning Post duly announced 

 the departure of " A. Bunn, Esq., from Drury Lane Theatre to the 

 continent," and, of course, various opinions were stoutly afloat as to the 

 purpose of this movement. One party declared that the manager had 



