Sample of some Gentleman's Autobiography. 21 



glossy head, was so peculiar, that I recognised him as a friend of mine, 

 whom I had no wish to see : to use stronger terms, I had a particular 

 antipathy to his person, but why, I could not at the moment recollect. Per- 

 haps, on some occasion, he might have used me ill; and the impression 

 remained, although the fact that produced it was forgotten. 



About half a mile off, instead of pursuing the main road, the vehicle 

 dashed into a lane which emerged at the back of the house. This was 

 decisive. My friend evidently wished to surprise me. To dart down 

 stairs, and out of the house, like lightning, was the work of an instant ; 

 but, fat as he was, the landlord overtook and tripped me up, before I had 

 proceeded ten yards. It seems that I had forgotten to pay the bill ; and 

 self-interest lent him wings. Without saying a word, he beat me con- 

 siderably ; and, in addition to this, his wife waddled forth, and began to 

 abuse. Notwithstanding her noise, I heard the roll of the post-chariot, 

 on a patch of pebbles with which part of the lane near the Redstart had 

 recently been mended. There being no time to lose, I acquiesced in the 

 landlord's robbing me of a repeater 1 had bought previously to my quitting 

 town ; and then, as I had expected, was permitted to slip through his 

 fingers. It has always been a satisfaction to me to reflect that the repeater 

 in question, though it struck and was showy, had not cost me a pound ; 

 being, with its brilliant appendages, got up for a sinister purpose. The 

 landlord, however, thought it a rich prize, and stuffing it into his wife's 

 bosom, hurried off to receive the party in the post-chariot, which had now 

 drawn up. The man with the bald, glossy head gave me a smile of 

 recognition as he alighted ; but I turned my back upon him with con- 

 tempt ; and in a moment of absence, or unaccountable whim, got up 

 behind an empty post-chaise, that was standing, ready for horses, in front 

 of the house. The road by which my friend and his companions had 

 come there were two ill-looking fellows in the chariot ran across the 

 flat top of the hill, which broke abruptly into a steep and apparently 

 interminable descent, at the very foot of an old elm, to which the sign of 

 the Redstart was nailed. Here, shaded by the foliage, stood mine host's 

 trim new chaise, with a stone before one of the wheels, to prevent it from 

 starting without steeds down the hill. This stone, 1 suppose I must have 

 kicked away before I mounted ; for, from the slight impetus communi- 

 cated to the vehicle by the act of rny getting up, it went off. and in a few 

 moments acquired such prodigious velocity, that the distance existing 

 between me and my friend, which, at the commencement of the chaise's 

 career, had not been above three yards, was lengthened into many hun- 

 dreds. He hurried back to the post-chariot, which soon gave me chace ; 

 but the evident odds in favour of a carriage without horses, against one 

 with, in a down-hill race, made me feel quite at ease : in fact, I saw that 

 I had nothing to fear but a broken neck 5 and this I flattered myself I 

 might possibly escape, if the two deep continuous ruts in which the chaise 

 had hitherto travelled should fortunately run the whole length of the hill ; 

 for these kept the wheels in a proper course, as though they were running 

 on a rail-road, and prevented the fore-carriage from swerving on the 

 perch-bolt, an event, which, had it occurred, must infallibly have cap- 

 sized my conveyance. 



At length, a closed turnpike gate threatened to obstruct my passage : 

 I bellowed with all rny breath, but the fellow seemed to be deaf. Alarmed 

 at the prospect, I contrived to get my feet on the ground, and after strid^ 



