28 Sample of some Gentleman's Autobiography. 



partner won, Gideon regularly increased the stakes : a losing game, to 

 which he had long been unaccustomed, rendered him indiscreet : he cursed 

 Juno with great bitterness for not playing as she ought to do, and gulped 

 down his brandy undiluted. Lord Timothy managed the play, and Thorn- 

 hose had little to do but pick up tricks and take the cash. " Somebody 

 has been giving you a forged note or two here, Mr.Crowthorpe," said the 

 latter, pointing to the stakes which Gideon had just laid down ; " I know 

 them as well as if I were a bank inspector. You had better exchange 

 them, to prevent mistakes, before we mix money." 



Thus detected, Gideon's rage became boundless ; the blood gushed from 

 the pimples on his brow ; and he threatened me with extermination for 

 having brought him a pair of insolent sharpers. Thornhose, up to this 

 time, had kept his winnings under his left elbow, not even raising it to 

 deal j but seeing Gideon so violent, he lifted it up for the purpose of 

 putting the notes safely in his pocket. At that instant, Macaroon, the 

 spider monkey (doubtless in obedience to a wink from Juno), stretched 

 forth his long lean arm, and with the velocity of lightning, but with 

 lemur-like silence, and unseen by Thornhose, snatched the notes, squeezed 

 them up to the size of a walnut, and safely deposited them in his cheek. 

 He then drew back to his box, and sat looking as if nothing had 

 happened. 



The effect of the loss on Thornhose was electrical j he started up, 

 accused Juno, who sat on his left, of the robbery, and made a clutch at 

 her throat, which, however, the giantess dexterously parried, and kicked 

 down the table with such violence that the lamp was extinguished, and 

 Lord Timothy laid prostrate. 



During the darkness, I took hold of Macaroon, who, I thought, might 

 partially injure the money, and squeezed his neck with some force. The 

 brute tried all in his power to swallow it, but being resolute, and having 

 tolerably long fingers, I extracted it from his throat, and sallied out for 

 assistance. The fair, however, was now deserted, and I ran to an inn, at 

 some distance, without meeting any body that seemed to be sober. A 

 couple of postboys, who had brought down a Peer from a late division, 

 were just about to return to town, half drunk and ripe for a frolic. Accost- 

 ing me by the name of Mr. Mountebank, they asked if I was going to the 

 masquerade at the opera-house. Falling into their humour, I jocosely 

 replied in the affirmative, if they could do the distance before day-break. 

 With shouts of laughter, they thrust me into the chaise ; and about four 

 o'clock in the morning I /was making mouths, and throwing sommersaults 

 (an art which I had recently cultivated with great success), in a brilliant 

 circle at the King's Theatre. 



From a columbine, whom I recognised as an acquaintance of Mrs. 

 Robinson, I soon learned, without making myself known, that I had done 

 that kind-hearted creature a severe injury by my thoughtlessness. Lord 

 Timothy, at the suggestion of Thornhose, had utterly discarded her, and 

 she was then in a spunging-house, at the suit of her dress-maker, the 

 columbine's ci-devant mistress, for whom she had wanted the two hundred 

 and fifty pounds. After having ascertained where she was, I called a 

 coach, and got in at an hotel, under the pretence that I had staid too late 

 at the masquerade to intrude on the family with whom I was on a visit. 

 This accounted for my mountebank's dress. After taking coffee, with 

 an anchovy sandwich, and a brace of burnt gizzards, I sent for a tailor, 



