17*2 THE TABLK D'HOTE. 



agony of every Frenchman's tympanum, when the genius of invention 

 was relaxed, to manifest the enthusiasm provoked by the simple mention 

 of the " sport beloved ;" and all this wonderful proficiency in the art of 

 killing a noble and an useful animal, and riding down the crops of an 

 unfortunate husbandman, was sworn to by the horseless squires, much 

 with the same security against reputation, as the vaunts of skaters in the 

 Indies, where the ice has never yet stepped in to afford a footing for their 

 contradiction. 



The wit and hero of the society, was an Irish ensign, in faith, a Roman 

 Catholic, and who had attained, in the honourable service of his country, 

 the glorious climacteric of fifty-three good summers ; though the albe- 

 scent character of his hair might fairly have induced our computation, 

 by the winters which this stationary veteran had numbered in the 

 military calling. He knew a certain set of Irish lords, and, according to 

 his own amusing statement, was the favourite child of twenty-seven, that 

 had blessed the bed of his progenitors, at whose demise, the deer-park, 

 and estate in general, would be divided among the extensive produce of 

 their conjugal fidelity. 



The remainder of the party consisted of an exquisitely fine person, a 

 travelling smuggler for a house in Regent-street, with mustachios of 

 stupendous magnitude, and a pair of spurs almost proportioned to an 

 imaginary rider of that wooden horse, by which the city of King Priam 

 was deceived, in the heroic ages. It is needless to remark, that this 

 considerable person, who was a man-milliner at home, was, protempore, a 

 captain. There were some non-descripts, good steady eaters, a grave 

 Castilian, a Dutch burgomaster; two courteous and intelligent English 

 gentlemen, and a young Scotch surgeon, about six feet seven in height, 

 with a brogue, that conjured up a vision of the Luckenbooths and 

 Cannongate ; as he happened to be placed before the soup, his reiterated 

 question to the persons present, " Surr, wull I gev you some o' these?" 

 created so much mirth at his expence, that his lips were thenceforth sealed 

 hermetically, and he, accordingly remained a taciturn spectator of the 

 strange proceedings of the party. 



Before we enter on a portion of the dialogue of the melange we have 

 described, it is requisite to state that Mr. Blunt, in the moments of his 

 relaxation, was extremely fond of " practical jokes ;" the uniform refuge 

 of sheer stupidity, when sublimed by extraordinary causes into unusual 

 good humour. But Mr. Blunt, unfortunately, did not reflect, that there 

 were many points about his character which extended an allurement to 

 any wag, who, in the self-same vein, might meditate the justice of 

 reprisals. Mr. Blunt was exceedingly tenacious of any marked civility 

 to Mrs. B as he denoted his elect the goolistan for ever was before 

 him : he was an enormous glutton, painfully impatient of the slightest 

 contradiction, and, like most persons of intrinsic insignificance, possessed 

 a monstrous notion of his own importance. He had already suffered 

 from the jokes of a Mr. Killjoy, a kind of serious jack-pudding, whose 

 delight was, that of acting on the sensibility of nervous people; a 

 purpose, for which he had qualified himself with a superficial smattering 

 of dognostics, and what is infinitely more imposing with the ignorant 

 and credulous, some astounding terms from various nomenclatures, with 

 various citations from Wrecker's secrets, which, independenly of their 

 absurdity, had the further charm of being all in Latin. It was on the 

 occasion of a dish of stewed mushrooms, a plat of Mr. Blunt's peculiar 



