THE TABLE DHOTE. 



tainly philosophy enough to overlook these boyish pranks. When you 

 and I were young, perhaps, though our memories may fail us now, we 

 have often aided in some silly scheme like this/' There is hardly any 

 situation more embarrassing than that of a person really incensed without 

 sufficient cause, and anxious at the same time to support the semblance 

 of complacency. My uncle's remark was so conciliatory, that it afforded 

 a striking contrast to the wrath of Mr. Blunt, and placed him in a point 

 of view still more ridiculous. " Philosophy !" said Blunt ; " I know 

 not how your memory may serve you, sir ; but mine cannot transport me 

 to the fact of having descended to the meanness of an ant - 1 would say 

 the puerility of passing off hashed venison for hashed mutton - the 

 greediness of such a jest - The greediness I say." (Here rose a roar 

 of laughter.) " Here, give me something; gallon ; est il queJque chose 

 with their d d French messes! ah! well, come; there that will 

 do ." And Mr. Blunt had no sooner begun to toss the remnant of a 

 fricadeau, with most amusing petulance, from one side to the other of 

 his plate, than the waiter placed before him, with the electric quickness 

 of a flash of lightning, a reeking plat of venison, which had been pur- 

 posely reserved for him. " Par bonheur, Monsieur, il en reste un petit 

 peu." When Blunt perceived it, his visage gradually underwent a trans- 

 mutation from the fretfulness of disappointment, to the ample glow of 

 lull-blown satisfaction his muscles were relaxed he was seized with 

 an hysteric chuckle, which seemed to emanate from the anticipating 

 recipients within him; two pellucid streams proceeded from the corners 

 of his mouth ; he heeded not the laugh of the company, but, agitated 

 with delight, fell to and in a moment, had an unconscious person stood 

 behind him, from the closeness of his organ of mastication to his plate, 

 and the alertness of the members by which the subject-matter was con- 

 veyed to it, he would have thought him some near-sighted, enthusiastic 

 fiddler intent upon his scores, and executing, with violent rapidity, the 

 extravagance of a staccato passage. 



It was the custom of Mr. Blunt, when dinner was concluded, to intro- 

 duce a child, which Mrs. B., by some extraordinary delay, presented to 

 him as her first-born offering, after twenty years of marriage in the East, 

 and just about one twelvemonth after their arrival in these northern 

 latitudes. And now, Mr. -^Eneas. Hector, Achilles, (for such were the 

 heathen tokens of the Christianity of Mr. O'Sullivan, the Irish ensign), 

 was prepared to settle an account with Mr. Blunt, by whom the former 

 had been incessantly selected as the object of his sarcasms; and as the 

 gallant veteran had borne them with imperturbable good-humour, he 

 fairly concluded that he himself possessed a right, on any offered oppor- 

 tunity, of requiting, to the best of his ability, the shafts which Mr. 

 Blunt had sped, with far less wit than cynicism, both on himself indi- 

 vidually, and on the country of which he was a native. Mr. .ZEneas 

 Hector Achilles O'Sullivan began accordingly: " Is it after twenty 

 years now, Mr. Blunt, you was honoured with that charming babe? By 

 my soul, then, and India's a mighty odd place to be sure ! Och ! by 

 the fist of my father, and I'll engage in India aven, I would not be 

 that long without a child I mane if ". " We wish no explanations, 

 sir, on points of that description. If you knew anything of climates, sir, 

 you would be aware what amazing influence is ascribed to change of 

 air." " By the howly father ! and to change of exercise as well, too ; 

 and upon my soml too, I belav e it there then." " Believe it, sir ! I 

 hope you don't affect to doubt " " Ah, bother ! bother ! Mr. Blunt, 



