262 THE LITERARY ZOOLOGICAL GARDEN. 



is not in the least irritated at this truly bearish conduct ; and returns a 

 look of commiseration to each fierce glance he receives. Of the three, 

 this is the bear most to our taste ; although " an independent beast," he 

 is by no means a ' ' bloody" one ; and therefore is not of the species 

 described in the " Hind and Panther." On inquiring whether he had 

 always been so gentle as he is at present, we were informed of the 

 curious fact, that his temper had uniformly grown milder and milder, as 

 that of Unicolor waxed more irascible. Occasionally, however, he shews 

 that he does not want fire. We would not advise a bishop or a dean to 

 presume too much on his good humour. He has enough of Dryden's 

 bear about him, to give a churchman a closer hug than might prove 

 agreeable. The oldest of these remarkable animals is the Ursa Bicolor. 

 Although not so large as it was some years ago, it is still a fine specimen 

 of its kind. The keeper pointed out a scar over one of its eyes, which 

 he informed us it had received formerly in a conflict with a fine young 

 bird of the " Cygnus Heliconius" species. 



The PENNY-A-LINE-MAN, or " Hire-undo Literarius" of Linnaeus, is 

 a species of swallow ; it lives upon flies and other small insects, and 

 never does more than skim the surface of any subject. It has been 

 observed all over the Globe ; and its wing is so aspiring, that it mounts 

 to the Sun itself. That it never dies is certain, for it is seen in every 

 Age, and in all Times. It generally builds in the corner of some maga- 

 zine, or amongst the columns of a newspaper. Ornithologists say that it 

 has the same attachment to men of letters, that the robin has to men in 

 general ; not that it is a literary bird, any more than the other is a phi- 

 lanthropic bird ; but the former, like the latter, thinks only of picking 

 up crumbs. It migrates much more frequently than the Hirundo Com- 

 munis, or common swallow : the same bird which this week takes up its 

 quarters under the eaves of a Tory journal, shall be observed the next 

 working the mud for his nest under the windows of some Whig or 

 Radical editor, and twittering to attract his notice and pity. 



The UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR belongs to the " Ignavum Pecus" of the 

 old naturalists : it is the Sloth of modern zoology. It abounds at Ox- 

 ford, Cambridge, and Dublin, particularly in the latter city, where the 

 largest specimens have been observed. It lives on commons, and is a 

 remarkably gluttonous creature, displaying, while engaged in eating, an 

 activity foreign to its nature at other times. It is a solemn-looking 

 animal, like the ass, which anatomists say it resembles also in the texture 

 and paucity of its brains. In general it maintains a profound silence, 

 which is the only agreeable peculiarity it possesses : sometimes, however, 

 it lectures, and then the noise it emits is so offensive, that persons of taste 

 are to be seen flying in all directions, to get out of its hearing, just as 

 they do in the House, when Sir Charles Wetherell or Ex-Serjeant Lefroy 

 rises to speak. It is scarcely credible, but it is true, that the nation 

 goes to a great expence to maintain a number of these useless and repul- 

 sive animals in the public enclosures above mentioned ; we trust, how- 

 ever, that as soon as the Radical sportsmen shall have sufficiently thinned 

 the herd of churchmen, they will get up early some fine October morn- 

 ing, and beat up the quarters of the University Professors on the banks 

 of the Cam, the Isis, and the Liffey. 



