406 THE CHATEAU. 



prejudice and jealousy of later " authors," who always thought them- 

 selves superior to their predecessors. Mr. Smith's peculiar delight was 

 the hereditary rudeness and moroseness of his son, another John Smith, 

 the counterpart in person, soul, and conduct, of himself. He had the 

 same turnip-shaped head ; the same two dabs of red on the flesh above 

 the cheek bones ; the same cocked-up nose, and expanded nostril, in 

 which was manifest the very residence of civil impudence and obnoxious 

 right The son was governed precisely by the father's maxims ; his 

 every rule of life (and John Smith, senior, had a fine fasciculus of these 

 important axioms) was gathered from his oracular parent. Mr. Smith's 

 costume was the result of right ; for every man undoubtedly has the 

 inherent privilege to run counter, if he will, to all the usages of dress. 

 His coat not only was out of fashion, it was directly opposite to fashion ; 

 an immensity of width and length in back and skirts, and a double 

 force of convex buttons. His waistcoat was of thick-cut plush, and his 

 breeches for it would be absurd to abuse the English language to 

 denominate them small clothes were of honest corderoy, and of so per- 

 manent and stiff a character, that you could hear John Smith approach- 

 ing by the friction of his inexpressibles, as easily as the Hellenics knew 

 Apollo's advent by the clanging of his quiver. Every assertion of the 

 son and father rested on the dictum of each other. When Smith had 

 taken a position, with an infinitude of ill-bred, stolid dogmatism, and 

 when he had concluded what he called his argument, which was usually 

 a string of unsupported asseverations, his grand " probatum est" was 

 " Ask John Smith, else." The son, reciprocating the politeness, and 

 following the logic of the father, wound up, as stoutly and as certainly, 

 " Ask father, else." As we shall have occasion to encounter John 

 Smith's society hereafter, we shall cut him here as shortly as we can. 

 Any man, who ever has been fool enough to take a ruin, and attempt, 

 on slender means, to adapt it to the purposes of living, may remember 

 what a pleasant thing it is to be supplied, on every call, with the sug- 

 gestions of a visitor. It therefore will suffice to let the reader know my 

 relative's impression of John Smith, when he is told that he bestowed 

 upon my uncle a multitude of plans and maxims, and favored him 

 spontaneously with his advice, a thing my uncle cordially detested, as 

 he knew that great advisers rarely take the trouble to consider ; that if 

 they did, not one in twenty has the judgment requisite to form a just 

 conclusion ; and that gratuitous admonition is usually the offspring of a 

 fond loquacity, wherein the counsellor designs to show off his ability at 

 our expence of patience. 



My uncle heartily congratulated himself on the departure of the 

 Smiths, and having usefully worn out the remnant of his morning, was 

 tranquilly seated at his soup, when his Flamande told him he was 

 wanted by a gentleman. My uncle rose, and found it was a beggar, 

 who was sitting smoking by the kitchen fire, and had waited on him for 

 a pair of shoes, some bouillon, and three sols, with which to purchase 

 some tobacco. The latter two requests my uncle willingly complied 

 with, but as to the shoes, he said, that at the moment he had none to 

 part with ; that when he had a pair which he should use no longer, he 

 would certainly reserve them for the modest mendicant. The beggar, 

 who had eyed my uncle's range of chaussure on his boot-horse, seemed 

 rather disconcerted at this delay ; but having particularized the pair 

 which he judiciously preferred, (for they were new) consented to the 



