342 NOTES OF THE MONTH. 



that afterwards set upon his carcase are really astounding. " Subtract 

 one head from two shoulders, and what remains ?" Why, one body, to 

 be sure, which is to be divided by four ! and the disposal of the "pieces" 

 by his Majesty, as he shall think fit ! What could his Majesty do with 

 the quaterly quotients of the old traitor ? 



" All are but parts of one stupendous whole !" 



And as, to use the common saying, you cannot " get more from the cat 

 than his skin/' so you cannot well obtain more from a man than his life. 

 With respect to the stone-throwing part of the business, we have heard 

 and read more nonsense from all quarters than we can at the present 

 moment describe nonsense, which we ourselves would be willingly 

 stoned to death rather than re-peruse 



"Underneath this stone doth lie !" 



the material for the manufacture of all sorts of imbecile and violent trash, 

 which some men nickname loyalty, and others more truly designate as 

 cant and humbug ; and on the other hand it has suggested reflections 

 and provoked comments, which we think might have been as well dis- 

 pensed with. 



THE FRUITS OF REPENTANCE. When a ruffian committs a diabolical 

 murder, the amount of sympathy excited upon the occasion is extraordi- 

 nary. But the extraordinary part of the business is, that the sympathy, 

 far from flowing in the direction of the widow or the orphans of the de- 

 ceased, takes altogether a different channel, and is discovered fructifying 

 in the cell of the interesting, but " unfortunate," culprit. The religious 

 world, so called, is in a ferment. Bibles are carried to and fro ; texts 

 are hunted up by the evangelical Nimrods with all the inveterate perse- 

 verance of a ferret in pursuit of rabbits, and the " unhappy" haggler at 

 windpipes becomes thenceforth an object of serious pity and com- 

 miseration. 



He is looked upon, from that time forward, as one who has taken an 

 outside place for the other world, but has neglected to book his luggage ; 

 and charitable and Christian ladies, who would order Lazarus from the 

 door as an odious impostor, are too happy to contribute to the convenience 

 and comfort of one who would see Lazarus, where Divas was repre- 

 sented to be, and themselves into the bargain, if he could thereby secure 

 to himself any one additional selfish gratification. 



But the unhappy man's precious soul must be taken care of. Miss 

 Payne is determined to have an eye to that j and the consolations of 

 religion cannot be presented to misguided Cook in a more pleasing 

 shape, than by handing them to him in a plate of grapes, or an inviting 

 melon. Some new luxury awaits him at every successive religious con- 

 viction, and the regenerated sinner, who would have remained a stout 

 atheist upon a pint of gooseberries, is converted by a preliminary pine- 

 apple, into a steadfast espouser of orthodoxy. We could sing 



" Of man's first wilful murder, and the fruit" 



but we forbear to do so. We cannot, however, but envy the feelings of 

 Miss Payne, when she discovered that, by dint of her exertions, the 

 " imprudent and unhappy man'' was enabled to meet his maker with a 

 perfect conviction of its being " all right." 



