#3f- TO RICHMOND. 419 



(Jones is, in many respects, a very great favourite with the ladies, and 

 deservedly so, for he is a young man of very good expectations, and 

 plays exceedingly well on the German flute with additional keys.) 

 Smith and Wilson, equally awkward, sat down with their foolish faces 

 towards each other, and began to pull, of course, different ways, which 

 gave rise to considerable merriment on shore : but I put them right on 

 this nautical point, and they placing them as they should be, directed 

 what they should do. Tomlins was my next vexation, for, before his 

 partners had dipped their oars in the limpid stream, he began to pull 

 away as strong as a as a no matter what I have not a com- 

 parative at hand ; but the effect of his obstinacy was, that the boat's 

 head was turned to the right about, notwithstanding my keeping the 

 helm hard aport. Then Jones began to put out his shoulders : I must 

 confess that I felt quite ashamed of their obstinacy and ignorance. The 

 first pull he gave, I thought he would have drawn us under water ; at 

 the second he could not move his oar at all. " What the devil has got 

 hold of my oar at the bottom ?" he roared out, half laughing and half 

 alarmed. " It isn't a shark, I hope !" said Miss Simpson, and she 

 turned as pale as her lemon kid gloves : how simple of Miss Simpson ! 

 I explained to her that sharks in the Thames were impossible there 

 might be such things on shore, but they were not amphibious. And I 

 also explained to Jones, why it was that he could not lift his oar : he 

 had, in technical phraseology, " caught a crab :" I told him he should 

 skim the top, not rake the bottom. " Very good/' said Jones ; and the 

 next stroke he made he missed the water altogether, hit himself a most 

 unmerciful thump in the stomach with his double-handed oar, which 

 tumbled him heels uppermost, with his head in Wilson's lap, which 

 broke poor Wilson's watch-glass, Miss Simpson's salts-bottle in his 

 pocket, and knocking Wilson backwards, pitched him with his head into 

 the hamper at the bows, which fractured two bottles of double stout, 

 and cut his occiput clean across the organ of cautiousness. The ladies 

 shrieked, but Wilson, who is in some respects a wag, said, very gaily, 

 " he didn't mind it no more than a foreigner." Several other amusing 

 accidents attended our starting, but as they were of minor importance, 

 I shall not narrate them here. 



With scarcely any pulling at all wafted along by the silver tide, we 

 had reached the Red house at Battersea : but now we set to in good 

 earnest, and our oars dropped in alternately, one, two, three, four, as 

 regular as the chimes. Here some of the natives on the shore, who had 

 been observing the gallant style with which we pulled along, bawled 

 out, e( Go it, tail (I write the word with the hesitation of reluctance) 

 tailors !" It is written, and I breathe again ! They, no doubt, mistook 

 us for a party of tradesmen of that soft, than which nothing could be 

 farther from our thoughts. However, that we might not be annoyed by 

 such mistakes in future, I determined on putting the boat out into the 

 middle of the stream. " Don't Twaddell !" exclaimed the whole of the 

 party, as with one voice, for we had hitherto kept close in shore, because 

 the water being shallower, it afforded us some chance of succour if 

 anything should happen to our daring and adventurous crew : as Smith 

 observed, in his dry way, " It would be very, disagreeable to be picked 

 up wringing wet and very dead." But the command being in my 

 hands, I was resolute on being obeyed, and so out I steered into the 

 dangerous bosom of the Thames. 



