486 THE MARGATE HOY. 



cabin-table, to dinner, some twelve or fifteen candidates for physical re- 

 freshment. Two boiled legs of mutton, roast breast of veal, two roast 

 quarters of lamb, two couple of boiled fowls, and one couple of roast, 

 ham and tongues, formed the nautical ' spread.' 



As only a single " course" was affected, the above were flanked by 

 cold pigeon-pies, apple-tarts, &c. &c. The entertainment was clearly 

 calculated for mote than double the aspirants. Be this as it may; there 

 was one male " customer" at table, whose practical powers of oblite- 

 ration, made up for any lack of company. He was a tall, gaunt, raw- 

 boned, practical opposer of the doctrine of" gastrotomy" of course an 

 enemy to all depletion. He appeared to have reached very nearly to 

 fifty years of age, with a nose, which must have had " a weary time of 

 it" in progressing over so extended a facial surface as it shaded : it 

 resembled, in shape, the semi-lunar knife used by the cheesemongers, 

 freely projecting over a mouth, whose cavernous irregularity of expan- 

 sion brought to mind the geological convulsions of nature. With the 

 wary manoeuvring of an adept in such cases, he had taken his position 

 at table, exactly between the quarter of lamb and two boiled fowls, 

 having one of the tongues, within hail, on his right hand. Here, having 

 no dish immediately facing him, he could not, with propriety, be ex- 

 pected to carve for the company. Here, however, fortune baffled his 

 preconcerted immunity from labour ; for he had scarcely spread his 

 pocket-handkerchief over his knees, when the steward (assuredly a man 

 of poor discriminating powers) lifted an enormous ham over his shoul- 

 der, and placing it on table, just before him, regaled him with the pro- 

 spect of both work and food. To attempt to describe the collapse his 

 countenance underwent at this apparition, would be in vain. His face 

 became ghastly ; he fidgeted with his knife and fork ; began making 

 his bread into pellets ; and the anxious eye, which erst had glanced, in 

 watchful though complacent satisfaction, at the distribution, quantity, 

 and quality of the viands, now sunk before the monstrous task prepared 

 for him. What would our ham-stricken victim not have given for a 

 private interview, in a snug parlour, with the very object of his present 

 horror, attended simply by the two boiled fowls, roast lamb, and 

 pigeon-pie. 



At this moment, a gentleman handing his plate, on which reposed the 

 wing of a fowl, electrified our gastronomist by a cool " Sir, I'll thank 

 you for a slice of that ham before you." Our friend actually leaped in 

 his chair. Merciful powers ! the ham, too, was so apparently excel- 

 lent, that the prospect of his employment was indefinite. The sight, 

 however, of the wing of fowl in the plate of his persecutor, determined 

 him in making an effort to obtain at least some certain provision for 

 himself: he, therefore, whilst still officiating in the ham line, handed 

 his own plate toward the dispenser of fowls, requesting a leg and a 

 wing, which he covered with an extra plate, and placed beside himself. 

 His anticipated terrors regarding the ham were not unfounded: the 

 flavour and excellence induced many, after the demolition of the fowls, 

 to eat ham with the pigeon-pie ; and the excitement and disappointment 

 of the carver threatened absolutely to make him physically ill. 



A very gentlemanly man at table, seeing the state of things, offered, 

 and did kindly relieve him from farther anxiety, by taking up his task. 

 Our hero now leisurely commenced his attack upon his covered plate, 



