584 TO THE EDITOR OF THE EXAMINER. 



unalloyed and lasting enjoyment from the world, because rest and entire 

 satisfaction are only to be found at home ; disdain, that is, pretend to 

 disdain the support and refreshment, and relaxation afforded on the 

 road; who, after having with eyes screwed up, and mouths screwed 

 down with sanctified and inflated, not serious and felling tone and 

 gesture, edified the old ladies, and wearied to death all others, (though 

 'tis not the fashion to confess it) by the space of some two hours in 

 church or chapel; after having denounced the world and its contents as 

 nought, or worse than nought, dare to go home, and eat heartily of 

 beef or mutton, and countenance their families in so doing, whilst any 

 one miserable creature in their neighbourhood can hardly get a dry crust 

 or potatoe : all such preachers and prayers, whether high church or 

 sectarian, who, not content with the absurdity, forced upon them by 

 authority, and derived from old fashioned limes, of appellations once 

 applied to men under the sensible influence of a genuine inspiration, will 

 aggravate this absurdity by applying it to their own proper persons, and 

 thus making it their own absurdity. All such voluntary and gratuitous 

 hypocrites, I consign in the lump, to you, sir, to be treated, along with 

 the before mentioned excessive worldlings in the manner they so richly 

 deserve. Now then, I presume the field is clear for me, and I may say, 

 without hindrance from misrepresentation, fight the battle, not of the 

 high priests and saints, but of the main body of the parochial clergy 

 out this realm of England. 



It is, I cannot help thinking, of happy augury for my cause, that I 

 should have been able, in the outset, to take the vigilant and wary 

 Examiner at disadvantage; that Monsieur Jourdain should be constrained 

 to own Nicole has hit him; that the quick eye, vigorous arm, and pliant 

 wrist of the professed fencer should not have enabled him to foil even 

 an unexpected attack from his pupil. I, as well as no doubt, all the 

 habitual readers of the Examiner, have contracted a notion, that this 

 accomplished disputant is absolutely invulnerable, when he is not opposed 

 to truth. Hurrah ! then shout I ; truth must be on my side as I suspected 

 labor at nosier cum ad verum ventum est; the fight looks promising indeed, 

 the radical parson has fairly reduced the odds which the lookers on must 

 have deemed at first fearfully against him. 



On guard again. But hold, Nicole, says Monsieur Jourdain, this 

 won't do ! any fool may make a good hit by chance, and you have had 

 the honour and good luck to touch me. Don't presume though, to 

 attempt this again. Stand off, and " Let us Jight our battle in our own 

 way" 



Now, is not this peevish and unworthy the Examiner's matured 

 power and high character ? I fain would it possible, abstain from 

 undue pleasantry ; but sir, I've caught the spirit from you, and I can't 

 help myself. I must then quote from " The Baby's Debut" in the 

 Rejected Addresses. I'm afraid it almost amounts to sneering ; but you 

 shall sneer at me in return if you please. It may be some consolation to 

 your offended dignity, that however the moral may apply to your 

 disadvantage, you have, at least, the importance of character on your 

 side; you wear the breeches, I take the petticoats. You are brother 

 Jack, I am content to play sister Nancy. 



