604 CARROTS AND THEIR CONSEQUENCES. 



cured for me the happy sobriquet of Barbarossa, reviving the association 

 of an atheistical emperor and a bloodthirsty corsair. 



" All that disgraced my betters, met in me." 



It was said of me, in allusion to my imperial namesake, that were I like 

 him to merit the punishment with which the inquisition visit heresy, I 

 might save some trouble and expense, for my san-benito was already 

 prepared. It was fated also that I should be deceived in supposing 

 that, as a military man, I was safe from these petty vexations. The 

 day on which I joined my regiment appeared but the precursor of a 

 new series of mortifications ; the first attack to which I was exposed 

 proceeded from a centry of the artillery who was posted on a situation 

 whither my curiosity had attracted me. " You must not pass here sir," 

 exclaimed the man, with an accent as I thought on the pronoun. " Why 

 not ?" I replied, " I wanted to see this battery." It isn't a battery, sir, 

 its a powder magazine !" The fellow grinned as he spoke. I retreated 

 in ire, unwilling to expose my mortification, or give a chance of amuse- 

 ment at my expense so soon. At mess that evening I was introduced to 

 the greater part of the officers; and as I was uncovered, my upper 

 works were more conspicuous. They seemed very merry fellows, and 

 each of them had a smile upon his countenance, as he welcomed me to 

 the fraternity. Such a reception was not disagreeable, provided it was 

 sincere. For the first few days this politeness was uniform ; but in a 



in a short time the formal designation of Mr. was abandoned, and 



my companions began to indulge in phrases, wherein some remote cause 

 of mirth connected with my appearance seemed to predominate. It 

 was said that a new light began to beam upon the regiment, that it was 

 fortunate the quarters were bomb-proof; and many jokes uponjireloc/cs 

 were sported. These circumstances, by degrees, excited my irritability ; 

 in vain I argued with myself, that if I began my career by quarrelling 

 with my brother officers, it would inevitably be but a brief one ; and 

 that by so doing, I should certainly commit myself for life. The rea- 

 soning faculty was never very strongly developed on that head which 

 bore more signs of passion and irritibility than the science of craniology 

 has yet discovered. 



One evening, therefore, when we had a large party at the mess, and 

 contrary to our wont, had indulged too freely in the tinted juice, our 

 spirits were excited, and we became argumentative, less patient to bear, 

 and more apt to give offence. In such a mood a jest is of serious con- 

 sequence, and jests were rife. An allusion was made, certainly intended 

 for me, but not in the sense in which I accepted it. I replied in angry 

 terms, which provoked still more pointed expressions ; we forgot the 

 poet's exclamation, 



" Vino et lucernis Medus acinaus 

 Immane quantum discrepat!" 



and granted in our cups. I challenged my quondam friend, and de- 

 manded immediate satisfaction : he sneeringly refused to go out till the 

 morning, alleging that the advantage would be all on his side, <c as it 

 was dark." I boiled with rage, and quitted the room, drunk with choler 

 as well as wine. In the morning we met and exchanged shots ; my ball 

 lodged harmless in a tree ; but that of my antagonist was directed with 



