CARROTS AND THEIR CONSEQUENCES. 



605 



a surer aim ; it winged me/ and I fell. The result of this affair was 

 gratifying to both of us ; he left the regiment, and I remained on the 

 sick list for some months during the pleasantest season of the year, and 

 when .1 once more appeared in public, I found that I had carried an 

 immunity from further gibes at the expense of good fellowship ; nobody 

 laughed or jested with me now ; I was considered like Fergus Mac Ivor, 

 " a fiery ettercap, a fractious chield." Though this did not improve 

 my temper, I did not at once become a misanthropist, but I was far 

 from forming any friendships. I did worse I fell in love ! and yet how 

 could I avoid it ? for Eliza's beauty was perfect ; still might I not 

 have discovered what fate had in store for me ? But who is there who 

 pauses to reflect when the passions are exerted ? Eliza was a delightful 

 girl, accomplished, clever, and witty; she laughed with me at many 

 things, but I flattered myself not at me. I thought her perfection ; and 

 I imagined, without vanity, that she did not consider my acquirements 

 in a despicable point of view. I imagined that I was beloved, though I 

 had never proposed the momentous question. At last the moment ar- 

 rived for explanation. Our regiment suddenly received an order to em- 

 bark for America ; I hurried to Eliza, and told her the fatal news ; our 

 interview was long and interesting ; the moment of departure drew 

 near ; Eliza looked as if she were about to abandon herself to despair. 

 At once I spoke openly of my passion, I pictured the desolation of my 

 lot, far, far away from her I loved, and begged to exchange tokens, that 

 I might possess something by which I might recal the happiness of the 

 past. " Give me, Eliza/' cried I, " give me a ringlet of these waving 

 tresses ; while life is mine I will preserve it !" Eliza raised her tearful 

 eyes, and gazed wistfully upon me: 011 a sudden her countenance 

 changed ; I apprehended an hysterical affection. She strove to repress 

 it, but in vain ; her strength was subdued, and she burst into a pea! of 

 laughter, loud and long ! I gazed in astonishment ; yet her mirth 

 for mirth indeed it was, and no hysterical passion rwas unheeded. 

 " What mean you, ' I exclaimed; " is this a moment for merriment ?'g 

 " Oh, Rufus !" she faintly articulated, while she strove to keep down 

 the convulsion which still influenced her, " Oh, Rufus, only think how 

 ridiculous a lock of your hair would look in a locket ! ' and again her 

 laughter overpowered; " but take mine," she added. " Never, 

 madam !" I vociferated, turning pale with anger " Never ! she who at 

 such a moment could wound my feelings in the tenderest point is un- 

 worthy to be held in my remembrance. Madam, I bid you eternally 

 farewell!" and without pausing to cast another glance at the- object of 

 my late attachment, I rushed from the house, and strode homewards. 

 " There are many fairer than she, and few can be more unfeeling," 

 thought I, as I paced hurriedly along. " When next I bestow my 

 affections I will do so where every sentiment is reciprocal. I may yet 

 be beloved though my hair is red!" While these thoughts passed 

 through my mind, I passed by a perfumer's shop, and there in a long 

 plate-flap I saw my inflamed visage reflected. My eye was attracted 

 towards an advertisement emblazoned in gaudy capitals. " Fox's PA- 

 TENT CREAM for changing red or gray hair to " I read no more 



" My bane and antidote were both before me." 



The name of the patentee recalled unpleasant recollections ; but I waived 

 my disgust, and rushed into the shop, and expended half-a-guinea on 



