78 



Monthly Review of Literature, 



[JULY, 



together some of his best bar remarks (for of wit 

 he wag totally guiltless, If not inapprehensive) to 

 repeat to bis company, as occasion might offer ; 

 and if be could not be humorous, determined at 

 least to be entertaining. 

 The first of his lordship's observations after din- 



' Well, my lord, I'll explain the thing without 

 mentioning these birds of prey,' &c. 



Before the year 1784 the judges were 

 entirely dependent on the crown ; and no 

 English barrister, who could earn his 



ner, was the telling us that he had been a Welsh bread ai ^ d cheese at home, would accept 



judge.andhad found great difficultyin pronouncing 

 the double consonants, which occur in the Welsh pro- 

 per names. ' After much trial,' continued his lord- 

 ship, 'I found that the difficulty was mastered by 

 moving the tongue alternately from one dog-tooth 

 to the other.' 



Toler seemed delighted with this discovery ; and 

 requested to know his lordship's dentist, as he had 

 lost one of his dog-teeth, and would immediately 

 get another in place of it. This went off flatly 

 enough no laugh being gained on either side. 



Lord Redesdale's next remark was that when 

 he was a lad, cock-fighting was the fashion ; and 

 that both ladies and gentlemen went full dressed 

 to the cock-pit, the ladies being in hoops. 



'I see now, my lord,' said Toler, 'it was then 

 that the term cock-a-hoop was invented.' 



A general laugh now burst forth, which rather 

 discomposed the learned chancellor. He sat for a 

 while silent; until skaiting became a subject of 

 conversation, when his lordship rallied and with 

 an air of triumph said, that in his boyhood all 

 danger was avoided ; for, before they began to 

 kait, they always put blown bladders under their 

 arms ; and so, if the ice happened to break, they 

 were buoyant and saved. 



'Ay, my lord,' said Toler, 'that's what we call 

 blatheram-skate (nonsense) in Ireland.' 



His lordship did not understand the thing at all; 

 and, though extremely courteous, seemed to wish 

 us all at our respective homes. Having failed 

 with Toler, in order to say a civil thing or two, he 

 addressed himself to Mr. Garrett O'Farrell, a jolly 

 Irish barrister, who always carried a parcel of 

 coarse national humour about him ; a broad, squat, 

 ruddy-faced fellow, with a great aquiline nose, and 

 a humorous eye. Independent in mind and pro- 

 perty, he generally said whatever came uppermost. 

 Mr. Garrett O'Farrell,' said the chancellor so- 

 lemnly,' I believe your name and family were very 

 respectable and numerous in county Wicklow. I 

 think I was introduced to several of them during 

 my late tour there.' 



' Yes, my lord,' said O'Farrell, ' we were very 

 numerous ; but so many of us have been lately 

 hanged for sheep-stealing, that the name is getting 

 rather scarce in that county.' His lordship said 

 no more &c. &c. 



I never saw Lord Redesdale more puzzled than 

 at one of Plunkett's jeux d'esprit. A cause was 

 argued in Chancery, wherein the plaintiff prayed 

 that the defendant should be restrained from suing 

 him on certain bills of exchange, as they were 

 nothing but kites. Kites ?' exclaimed Lord Re- 

 deKdale ' kites, Mr. Plunkett? Kites never could 

 amount to the value of those securities. I don't 

 understand this statement at all Mr. Plunkett,' 



It is not expected that you should, my lord,' 

 answered Plunkett ; * in England and in Ireland 

 kites are quite different things. In England, the 

 wind raises the kites; but in Ireland, the kites 

 raise the wind.' 



' I don't feel any way better informed yet, Mr. 

 Plunkett,' said the matter-of-fact chancellor. 



a precarious offer in a strange county, and 

 at a paltry salary. The bench was in con- 

 sequence curiously manned with judges. 

 Baron Monckton is recorded as under- 

 standing black letter, and red wines, and 

 being very much vino deditus (this is Sir 

 Jonah's mag-pie style) he habitually de- 

 scribed the segment of a circle in making 

 his way to the seat of justice. Judge Boyd 

 was another drunkard, eulogized by the 

 newspapers for his singular tender-heart- 

 edness- so great was his humanity, that 

 when he was passing sentence of death 

 upon any unfortunate criminal, it was ob- 

 servable that his lordship seldom failed to 

 have "a drop in his eye." 



I remember, says Barrington, a barrister being 

 raised to the bench, who had been previously 

 well known by the ingenious surname of Coun- 

 sellor Necessity because necessitas non legem 

 habet; and certainly to do him no more than jus- 

 tice, he consistently melted the cognomen, after 

 his elevation, as well as before. 



Old Judge Henn (a very excellent character) 

 was dreadfully puzzled on circuit, about 1/89, by- 

 two pertinacious young barristers (arguing a civil 

 bill upon some trifling subject) repeatedly haran- 

 guing the court, and each most positively laying 

 down the law oi the case' in direct opposition to 

 his adversary's statement thereupon. The judge 

 listened with great attention until both were tired 

 of stating the law and contradicting each other, 

 when they unanimously requested his lordship to 

 decide the point. 



How, gentleman, said judge Henn, how can 

 I settle it between you? You, Sir, positively say 

 the law is one way, aud you, turning to the oppo* 

 site party, as unequivocally affirm that it is the 

 other way. I wish to God, Billy Harris (to his 

 registrar, who sat underneath) I knew what the 

 law really was.' 



' My lord,' replied Billy Harris most senten- 

 tiously, rising at the same moment, and casting a 

 despairing glance towards the bench 'if I pos- 

 sessed that knowledge, I protest to God I would 

 tell your lordship with a great deal of pleasure.' 



' Then we'll save the point, Billy Harris,' ex- 

 claimed the judge. 



A more modern Justice of the Irish King's 

 Bench, in giving his dictum on a certain will case, 

 absolutely said' He thought it very clear, that 

 the testator intended to keep a life interest in the 

 estate himself.' The bar did not laugh outright ; 

 but Curran soon rendered that consequence in- 

 evitable : ' Very true, my lord,' said he, 'very true f 

 testators generally do secure life-interests to them- 

 selves. But in this case, I rather think your lord- 

 ship takes the will for the deed' 



His parliamentary anecdotes, are often 

 very good though many of them are well 

 known. 



Mr. Egan (one of the roughest-looking persot 

 possible) being at one time a supporter of govern- 



