1827.] A Tale of the Nineteenth Century. 29 



hill-folk), and possessed ourselves of a room, where we were in momen- 

 tary expectation of some nice viands, and fair Calcavella or Bucellas. Din- 

 ner being served up, the clergyman said grace, and we were seated. But 

 we had scarce devoured the first slice, before our friend the lawyer (I did 

 not think there had been such profligacy in man !) actually urged a fine 

 upon the parson for saying grace, as part of his profession ! A duplex 

 murmur of ' No, no !' proceeded from me and the doctor; upon which the 

 proposer of the fine, most unluckily for him, blattered forth, that to be 

 sure he would be the last man in the world to have every thing ' slrictis- 

 simi juris ; and this sentence he rounded with an emphasis which would 

 have roused the weakest intellect from the fattest tureen of turtle. ' Coun- 

 sellor, we don't want to have things strictissimi juris ; hut, really, we 

 have been bred up with a decent knowledge of Latinity, and are not quite 

 innocent of legal phrase ; so you must help pay for the Bucellas five shil- 

 lings, if you please/ said I. 



" O votary of Wbitbread, of Meux, of Barclay, of Goding, of anybody, 

 whose ale or porter has administered to the sensuality of your corporal 

 man, did you ever ask at a strange place for good beer, and were damnified 

 with bad ? ' Have you got any good ale, waiter ?' ' Oh, yes, Sir ! some of 

 our own brewing.' ' Let us have some.' We tasted this precious nectar, 

 and were instantly elevated in the spirit, but quite the wrong way. This 

 fellow ought to be prosecuted,' uttered the fierce lawyer; ' an indictment 

 will assuredly lie for vending such drugs as these : let us have the landlord 

 up.* That was one fine, most absolutely. ' When I was in Khorassan/ 

 said a swarthy stranger at a side-table, ' what would I not have given for 

 such beer as this, bad as it is !' ' Very lucky for you, Sir, you were not 

 , of our party !' thought I ; ' you would have been fined most unmercifully 

 for being: a traveller.' I always act upon the principle of shewing no 

 mercy whatever to travellers; for they're off 2,000 aye, 10,000 miles 

 from you in a moment, where you can't unite with them any better than 

 poor Lord Eldon with an improvement-bill, or an ultra Tory with a violent 

 Whig. ' Shameless stuff, indeed !' said our doctor, still harping upon the 

 ale ; this is the very liquor to give a man the deadliest dyspepsia : I was 

 present at the opening of a person ' 



" Having collected ten shillings (the doctor having been calmly fined for 

 the last slip) towards a bowl of punch, we agreed to dissolve the agreement 

 after this my friends being convincingly satisfied that there is extreme 

 difficulty in avoiding the technicalities of a profession in common conver- 

 sation." 



My acquaintance, having finished his story and his soup, rose to go ; 

 and, after the usual compliments, we each went our way. But it never 

 struck me to ask what tribe he belonged to, or whether he acknowledged 

 any ; sure it is that I could not learn from his converse anything of him 

 further than that he was a complete citizen of the world; and, for want of 

 presence of mind, I feel quite certain that I shall never be able to imitate 

 him. Who knows but he might have been Sir Walter Scott ! ! 



