1827.] |_ 129 ] 



ON DISAGREEABLE PEOPLE. 



THOSE people who are uncomfortable in themselves are disagreeable to 

 others. I do not here mean to speak of persons who offend intentionally, 

 or are ohnoxious to dislike from some palpable defect of mind or body, 

 ugliness, pride, ill-humour, &c., but of those who are disagreeable in 

 spite of themselves, and, as it might appear, with almost every qualifi- 

 cation to recommend them to others. This want of success is owing 

 chiefly to something in what is called their manner ; and this again has 

 its foundation in a certain cross-grained and unsociable state of feeling on 

 their part, which influences us, perhaps, without our distinctly adverting to 

 it. The mind is a finer instrument than we sometimes suppose it, and is 

 not only swayed by overt acts and tangible proofs, but has an instinctive 

 feeling of the air of truth. We find many individuals in whose company 

 we pass our time, and have no particular fault to find with their under- 

 standings or character, and yet we are never thoroughly satisfied with them: 

 the reason will turn out to be, upon examination, that they are never tho- 

 roughly satisfied with themselves, but uneasy and out of sorts all the time; 

 and this makes us uneasy with them, without our reflecting on, or being 

 able to discover the cause. 



Thus, for instance, we meet with persons who do us a number of kind- 

 nesses, who shew us every mark of respect and good-will, who are friendly 

 and serviceable, and yet we do not feel grateful to them after all. We 

 reproach ourselves with this as caprice or insensibility, and try to get the 

 better of it; but there is something in their way of doing things that pre- 

 vents us from feeling cordial or sincerely obliged to them. We think them 

 very worthy people, and would be glad of an opportunity to do them a 

 good turn if it were in our power ; but we cannot get beyond this : the 

 utmost we can do is to save appearances, and not come to an open rupture 

 with 'them. The truth is, in all such cases, we do not sympathize (as we 

 ought) with them, because they do not sympathize (as they ought) with 

 us. They have done what they did from a sense of duty in a cold dry 

 manner, or from a meddlesome busy-body humour ; or to shew their supe- 

 riority over us, or to patronize our infirmity ; or they have dropped some 

 hint by the way, or blundered upon some topic they should not, and have 

 shewn, by one means or other, that they were occupied with any thing but 

 the pleasure they were affording us, or a 'delicate attention to our feelings. 

 Such persons may be styled friendly grievances. They are commonly 

 people of low spirits and disappointed views, who see the discouraging side 

 of human life, and, with the best intentions in the world, contrive to make 

 every thing they have to do with uncomfortable. They are alive to* your- 

 distress, and take pains to remove it ; but they have no satisfaction in the 

 gaiety and ease they have communicated, and are on the look-out for some 

 new occasion of signalizing their zeal ; nor are they backward to insinuate 

 that you will soon have need of their assistance, to guard you against run- 

 ning into fresh difficulties, or to extricate you from them. From large 

 benevolence of soul and " discourse of reason, looking before and after," 

 they are continually reminding you of something that has gone wrong in 

 time past, or that may do so in that which is to come, and are surprised 

 that their awkward hints, sly inuendos, blunt questions, and solemn fea- 

 tures do not excite all the complacency and mutual good understanding in 

 you which it is intended that they should. When they make themselves 

 miserable on your account, it is hard that you will not lend them you* 



M M. New Series. VOL. IV. No. 20. ' S 



