136 On Disagreeable People. '[At/fl, 



who wear a white hat as a mark of superior understanding, and carry home 

 a handkerchief-full of mushrooms in the top of it as an original discovery 

 who give you craw-fish for supper instead of lobsters; seek their com- 

 pany in a garret, and over a gin-bottle, to avoid the imputation of affecting 

 genteel society ; and 'discard them after a term of years, and warn others 

 against them, as being honest fellows, which is thought a vulgar prejudice. 

 This is carrying the harsh and repulsive even beyond the disagreeable to 

 the hateful. Such persons are generally people of common-place under- 

 standings, obtuse feelings, and inordinate vanity. They are formidable if 

 they get you in their power otherwise, they are only to be laughed at. 



There are a vast number who are disagreeable from meanness of spirit, 

 from downright insolence, from slovenliness of dress or disgusting tricks, 

 from folly or ignorance: but these causes are positive moral or physical 

 defects, and I only meant to speak of that repulsiveriess of manners which 

 arises from want of tact and sympathy with others. So far of friendship : 

 a word, if I durst, of love. Gallantry to women (the sure road to their 

 favour) is nothing but the appearance of extreme devotion to all their wants 

 and wishes a delight in their satisfaction, and a confidence in yourself, as 

 being able to contribute towards it.- The slightest indifference with regard 

 to them, or distrust of yourself, are equally fatal. The amiable is the volup- 

 tuous in looks, manner, or words. No face that exhibits this kind of ex- 

 pression whether lively or serious, obvious or suppressed, will be thought 

 ugly no address, awkward no lover who approaches every woman he 

 meets as his mistress, will be unsuccessful. Diffidence and awkwardness 

 are the two antidotes to love. 



To please universally, we must be pleased with ourselves and others. 

 There should be a tinge of the coxcomb, an oil of self-complacency, an 

 anticipation of success there should be no gloom, no moroseness, no shy- 

 ness in short, there should be very little of an Englishman, and a good 

 deal of a Frenchman. But though, I believe, this is the receipt, we are 

 none the nearer making use of it. It is impossible for those who are 

 naturally disagreeable ever to become otherwise. This is some consolation, 

 as it may save a world of useless pains and anxiety. " Desire to please, 

 and you will infallibly please," is a true maxim ; but it does not follow 

 that it is in the power of all to practise it. A vain man, who thinks he is 

 endeavouring to please, is only endeavouring to shine, and is still farther 

 from the mark. An irritable man, who puts a check upon himself, only 

 grows dull, and loses spirit to be any thing. Good temper and a happy 

 spirit (which are the indispensable requisites) can no more be commanded 

 than good health or good looks ; and though the plain and sickly need not 

 distort their features, and may abstain from success, this is all they can do. 

 The utmost a disagreeable person can do is to hope to be less disagreeable 

 than with care and study he might become, and to pass unnoticed in society. 

 With this negative character he should be contented, and may build Ins 

 fame and happiness on other things. 



I will conclude with a character of men who neither please nor aspire to 

 please anybody, an'd who can come in now T hcre so properly as at the fag- 

 end of an essay : [ mean that class of discontented but amusing persons, 

 who are infatuated with their own ill success, and reduced to despair by a 

 lucky turn in their favour. While all goes well, they are like fish out of 

 water. They have no reliance on or sympathy with their good fortune, 

 and look upon it as a momentary delusion. Let a doubt be thrown on the 

 question/ and they begin to be full of lively apprehensions again: let all 



