246 Travelling Sketches. [SEPT. 



" Well," said the Parisian, smiling, and evidently enjoying our almost 

 incredulous astonishment, " it is fortunate for me that the morose chap- 

 Jain is not here, for I suppose he would set me down as a profligate, past 

 redemption ; but as I take you to be like myself, orthodox lovers of a joke, 

 what say you, if we devote ourselves to Momus, during the remainder of 

 this journey ? We must needs do something to beguile the tedium of the 

 road ; and I have ever found Moliere a better travelling companion than 

 Puffendorfor Locke." 



We gladly assented to this proposal, and ratified the compact at supper 

 in an extra glass of Burgundy. This repast, at all times exhilarating, 

 is peculiarly so on a journey; and we rose to resume our route in excel- 

 lent spirits. At the door of the Diligence, we found a young gentleman 

 preparing to join our caravan : he was accompanied by an elderly female, 

 who assiduously kerchiefed his neck, warned him to nurse his cold, and, 

 as he stepped into the carriage, slipped into the pocket of his sur-coat, a 

 provision of barley-sugar, pectoral lozenges, and other toothsome specifics. 

 ' Behold our first victim to Momus," said the Parisian ; and forthwith 

 addressing the youth, he overwhelmed him with a thousand civilities, so 

 strangely officious, yet so gravely volunteered, as to produce a highly 

 diverting effect of gratitude and astonishment. He bewildered him by 

 assuming sundry whimsical modes of expression a slight stutter, and the 

 tone of a privileged oddity : a combination which, while it nearly con- 

 vulsed the captain and myself, placed our guest in the ludicrous predica- 

 ment, unconsciously, of furnishing the jest, being himself all the time 

 under the compound torture of excited awe and suppressed laughter. 

 It would require the dramatic talent of a Mathews to describe the 

 scene that followed. Our young traveller was, it appeared, employed 

 in the department of the forests ; and his indefatigable mystifier, after 

 putting him through a rigorous examination, on the various branches of 

 his duty, ended by asking him if he could at a glance tell the exact 

 breadth of a river? " No" was of course the answer. " Then," replied 

 the other, " if you will attend to me I will give you a simple rule for 

 that purpose, highly useful to a gentleman in your situation." At the 

 same moment, his clenched hand descended with such force on the hat 

 of his astonished auditor, as to bring the rim of it nearly in con- 

 tact with his nose (just then the light of a lamp, near which we had 

 stopped, gave us a full view of the scene). ' Pardon me, Sir,'' he con- 

 tinued, seizing the hands which were struggling to extricate the engulphed 

 head, " this is the first part of the rule, and cannot be dispensed with. 

 Now, Sir, fancy yourself on the banks of the Oronoco, or any other river. 

 When you come within fifteen paces of the bank you must hold up your 

 head, brace your knees, and step out boldly till you reach the water's edge. 

 Now be pleased to shut the right eye, and look up with the left, till you 

 bring the visual line in contact, as it were, with the extreme rim of your 

 hat ; keeping that eye so fixed, next open the other, and let it rest on the 

 opposite bank of the river. The moment that is done, wheel half-round, 

 suddenly, so ! (and suiting the action to the word, he gave the hapless tyro 

 a twirl, assuring him that this too was indispensable). Now, Sir, by this 

 movement pray, pay particular attention your eye has described an arc, 

 or section of a circle, which must, as you are well aware, be the measure of 

 the angle formed by the two visual lines above-mentioned, of which angle 

 mark! this (seizing his nose) u may be called the apex; and conse- 



