1827.] [ 261 ] 



SOME ACCOUNT Ob' A LOVER. 



I FIND myself compelled to differ toto coelo from those who profess to 

 hold modesty in such high veneration. My own modesty, I conceive, has 

 been long in that predicament mentioned by young Woodall in Dryden's 

 play who had hidden his blushes where he should never be able to find 

 them again. In short, not to be diffuse, I think I may aver that I am 

 " A flower born to blush unseen" 



Not so was my deceased friend Diaper, of whom I purpose to speak. 

 Perhaps that ingenious person died a martyr to that very weakness from 

 which I have just declared myself perfectly free. As a theoretical pro- 

 fessor of assurance, there I admit his claims were hardly to be dis- 

 puted ; but he broke down in the practice. The difference between us 

 was this his views were good my manner was inimitable : in resources 

 he was great but my comprehension was vast. In a word, what he could 

 so exquisitely contrive was perfected by me. 



But Diaper had his faults. Firstly, his ideas of property were vague 

 and unsatisfactory ; his principles of action, loose ; and the current coin 

 of the realm, once deposited in his hands by way of loan, like the tides of 

 the Pontick sea, knew no return. 



Secondly, Diaper was a genius in truth, of that kind denominated 

 queer. He was, however, assured by some of our periodical critics, that 

 he possessed great poetical talent; consequently, he was often to be found 

 contemplating a basin of water, and apostrophizing the ocean ; or toiling 

 up the craggy precipices of Primrose-hill, to pay adoration to the glorious 

 spirit of Nature. Again, it was his custom to cast himself listlessly by the 

 side of a kennel, 



" And pore upon the brook that bubbled by." 



Thirdly, It pleased him to encourage a lownpss of spirits, and to culti- 

 vate an acquaintance with unclean demons. Day after day he strolled 

 about, as melancholy as a bear in a barber's shop, but with no appearance 

 of that fatness which is so desirable in the quadruped. Some portions of 

 the fat of that animal, by-the-by, might have been adopted with advan- 

 tage at this period ; for the youthful enthusiast, by clipping off locks of 

 hair for his numerous fair admirers, and by shaving the front of his skull 

 for a high forehead, had succeeded in reducing that globular appendage to 

 a primitive state of baldness, and now furnished a lively idea of a newly- 

 discovered maniac to which, in other respects, he bore no slight resem- 

 blance. 



These were faults, nay, positive blemishes in his character, which I 

 vainly endeavoured to eradicate. I vindicated my friendship, but without 

 avail. He told me that they were part and parcel of his idiosyncrasy 

 that I knew not how to make or to find an excuse for the errors of 

 genius and, in fine, turned his back and a deaf ear to my advice. Diaper 

 was one upon whom remonstrance was as much lost as of whom the poet 

 says or sings, 



" Csesar, qui cogere posset, 



Si peteret per amicitium patris atque suam, non 

 Quidquam proficeret." 



His was a madness without benefit of Bedlam. 



This ill-fated gentleman incautiously fell into love a most unhappy 

 declension, and to which I attribute his untimely end. The " bridge of 



