1827.J The Travellers Oracle. 393 



The treatise on '< Lending your Carriage," is obviously from the pen of 

 a man hackneyed in the ways of the world : 



" As soon as you set up a Carnage, lots of Idle and Impertinent People, and all 

 the various branches of * the Skin-Flints^ and * the Save-Alls,' are up early on 

 the alert, setting all kinds of Traps to ride at your cost. 



" Caution those Friends to whom you may give such accommodation, not to 

 mention it : if they trot about, telling every one that they and you know, that 

 * Mr. Bencvolus was so good as to lend us his Carriage, and we had such a nice 

 ride all round here and there, and, &c.' 



" If any of the numerous members of the ' Free and Eavyf or ' the Save-All"* 

 families, who happen to have the slightest acquaintance with you, hear that you 

 have given this accommodation to some very old and excellent Friend, who may 

 have honestly earned every attention that you can possibly offer : I should not 

 wonder, if they were to Whisper to one another, * Oh, oh ! is it so ? well, I 

 'have really a vast respect for Mr. B. hav'nt you? And if he is so exceedingly 

 fond of Lending his Leathern convenience, don't you think that we ought to do 

 him the favour to Borrow it? it will be so exceedingly convenient when we go 

 to our Uncle Make feasts for we can't hire a Glass Coach to take us Ten miles 

 and back under Thirty Shillings, you know!' 



" If yov have any regard for Punctuality y take care who you carry with you, 

 especially when going out to Dinner ! 



" If you undertake to carry people to one place, some unreasonable selfish 

 beings are, not seldom, so pleased at an opportunity of shewing oiF * en carrosse,' 

 that they will plague you with perpetual solicitations to stop at almost every Door 

 they pass; Aye, and act as if they fancied that they were jumping in c an Errand 

 Cart.' Tell such Free and Easy folks very plainly, that you must be at a, certain 

 Place at a certain Time, and have not a moment to spare. 



" If you have any Mercy for your Horses, lend them not to others, unless you 

 limit the Time they are to be out, and the Distance and Pace they are to go ; say 

 not exceeding ten Miles." 



On the whole, our readers, we think, will find it safer never to lend 

 at all. 



As you do not lend your carriage yourself, it is not worth while to allow 

 your coachman to lend it for you. And there are a set of impudent people 

 about town who would hire a gentleman's carriage at night in the street 

 if they met with it as soon as a hackney-coach. If ever you detect a 

 gentleman in such a situation as this, it will become your duty to give him 

 in charge to a watchman immediately. It will also be no. moral sin if you 

 make his head (for a limited time) the pillow of your cudgel. For your 

 coachman, send him about his business next morning ; and whenever you 

 find it necessary to discharge a servant let the one who succeeds him know 

 the crime for which he suffered. 



" Desire your Coachman never to dispute with, or return any uncivil language 

 to any Coachman, Carman, &c. : if your Carriage is obstructed or offended by 

 any disorderly persons, take out your Pocket Book, and let them see you are 

 setting down their Number, and then coolly tell them you will summon them if 

 they do not immediately clear the way. 



" By the 1st Geo. I. c. 57, f th-ivers of Hackney Coaches are to give way to 

 Gentlemen's Carriages, under a penalty of 10*.' " 



We pray Heaven this act be not repealed ! 

 Again : 



" If curious Children ask 'Whose Carriage is this?' tell your Coachman to 

 Stare full in their face, and Say Nothing: if they have the Impudence to repeat 

 the Question, he may reply, f it belongs to Mr. PRY/ If equivocation be ever 

 allowable, it is to such Impertinents." 



M.M. New Series. VOL. IV. No. 22. 3 E 



