316 



Monthly Theatric.q.1 Report. 



[SEPT- 



There are some still unranked in any of 

 these classes* Steady scorners of the lo- 

 comotive propensities of mankind, and 

 who make a point of going to the theatres 

 only when something is to be seen worth 

 going to see a principle which generally 

 implies a very slight breach of their dis- 

 like to motion. Yet it would be unfair to 

 deny that an evening may be sometimes 

 spent pleasantly enough at the summer 

 theatres at the present sitting. 



The Haymarket still exhibits the "Ren- 

 contre," of which we gave the panegyric 

 last month, which continues to be popular, 

 and which acted the part of featherbed to 

 harlequin, in the matter of Mr. Planches 

 heavy fall last week. In the success of 

 the " Rencontre," the translator had 

 hazarded a flying leap at fame, called, 

 " You must be Buried." It was treated, 

 as we hope Mr. Planche himself will not 

 be treated, when he "must be buried." 

 In short, a sentence set upon it, from 

 which no piece in one act, or in five, will 

 have much the better name ; and " You 

 must be buried," after two sickly efforts 

 to prove that it "must live," happily dis- 

 appeared from the eyes of man. Having 

 had the single merit of possessing the 

 most appropriate of all titles, and standing 

 among those happy instances of modern 

 genius, by which one journalist entitles 

 his work the Ass, another the Viper ; 

 another heads his poems " Nonsense 

 Verses ;" and another goes about the 

 world soliciting subscriptions for his epic, 

 called " Absurdity." " You must be 

 buried" was equally significant and pro- 

 phetic ; the only possible improvement of 

 the title would be the addition of " You 

 shall be d mn d" The whole affair 

 was meant to have some allusion to the 

 very profitable and unpopular profession 

 of Undertaking. But the audience thought 

 it a too grave subject for a farce. Some 

 felt it personal, and considered that none 

 but a doctor should remind them of death ; 

 some thought one act of the kind a great 

 deal too much ; and Reeve, a much plea- 

 santer person off the stage than on, gave 

 it as his private opinion behind the 

 coulisses, that the dramatis personse much 

 resembled a deputation of the Humane 

 Society. Col man, who never misses a good 

 thing, says, that from the moment he saw 

 it, he pronounced it " asthmatic," and on 

 beiug pressed for an explanation, said 

 " It was sure to go off in a fit of coffin" 

 But by the help of Miss E. Tree's bright 

 eyes and handsome figure, by Madame 

 Vestris's furious favouritisme, Mr. Far- 

 ren's oddity, though we think the atti- 

 tudes of his love scene with the Soubrette 

 gross, low, and common-place in the most 

 contemptuous sense of the word, and alto- 

 gether disreputable to this clever actor, 

 together with Mr. Cooper's Girth and 



worn-out pantaloons, for we must give 

 him some commemoration, the " Rencon- 

 tre" goes off swimmingly. 



Mr. Poole, too, the essential dramatist 

 of the Haymarket, the Apollo of its threes- 

 act pieces from the French, has had, like 

 Apollo in Midas, a " pretty decent tum- 

 ble," " Gudgeons and Sharks," a piece 

 burlesquing the avidity of the vulgar for 

 place, and the tricks of their betters to 

 cheat them; a subject that came in the 

 very crisis of the most showy display of 

 public trickery witnessed for half a cen- 

 tury, fell dead at once; dropped like a 

 victim of the law without a struggle ; 

 perished in its prime like an apoplectic 

 Alderman; went off in universal clamour 

 like Lord Ellenborough's Marriage Act ; 

 and was buried, like an annuitant, to the 

 delight of all the parties concerned. 



The known talent of the author was OB 

 this occasion however most vilely second- 

 ed by the actors. Nothing in the annals 

 of acting could be duller than every soul 

 on the stage. Reeve seemed to repeat his 

 part trusting to the inspiration of his own 

 genius. Laporte, an actor whom we shall 

 return to France improved, as an original 

 offender is improved by a six months resi- 

 dence Horsemonger-jail, looked unspeak- 

 able horrors, and talked as he talks Eng- 

 lish, a style for which language can find 

 no name. The combination was irre- 

 sistible, and we scarcely know whether it 

 was better to perish in Highway Grattan's 

 Bye-way manner, or not being recited at 

 all ; or in Poole's, of being recited at the 

 mercy of Monsieur Laporte's unteachable 

 tongue. 



The Adelphi is getting a new face. 

 The Strand, destined from its infancy to a 

 life of dirt, has added to its other species 

 theatrical rubbish ; and if the coat is to 

 be evidence of the connexion, no man can 

 pass within some thousand yards of the 

 pile without bearing a portion of the 

 drama on his shoulders. 



The Italian Opera is shut, after a stir- 

 ring season. The house is useful now 

 chiefly as an excellent place for placard- 

 ing. The columns are of a convenient 

 height; and we suggest to Mr. Ebers, 

 the revenue that he is throwing away by 

 his neglect of the square foot value of his 

 architecture. The " Balm of Gilead,"and 

 " Warren's Blacking" alone would be a 

 fortune, if he had any of the genius of 

 finance within his configuration. 



The Lyceum is full, up to 110 of the 

 thermometer. Matthews, with his " Jo- 

 nathan in England," certainly among the 

 most repulsive of all his performances ,a 

 disagreeable picture of the disagreeable, a 

 caricature of a caricature, the low, selfish, 

 squalid, aad impudent specimen of the 

 lowest human brute that degrades even 

 an American seaport, fights his way ^>c- 



