1827.] [ 315 ] 



LAUDES CAKBONA1UUM, 

 OR THE PRAISES OF COALHEAVERS. 



IT lias been an opinion common to the philosophers and moralists of all 

 nations, ancient and modern, and of every age, past and present, that the 

 world is too much guided in forming its notions by the mere appearances of 

 things. Complaints so long continued, and testimonies so invariably con- 

 current, would be worthy of the highest consideration (especially when 

 the respectability of those who prefer the accusation is considered), even if 

 our own experience did not at once constrain us to admit the truth of the 

 charge : with this farther concession that, as society moves on in the 

 career of luxury and refinement, the disguises of pretence must still become 

 more numerous, and the artifices of fraud less easy of detection. The 

 amount of benefit conferred on the species by' those who have made the 

 aforesaid exposition followed up, as it has generally been, by their admo- 

 nitory counsels it may not be easy to calculate, nor have I now either 

 leisure or inclination to inquire ; but I think I may safely assume in brief, 

 that often has the beacon of their advice warned from the quicksands of 

 fudge, or the rocks of humbug, and thereby prevented the bark of many an 

 honest man's fair fortunes from suffering total shipwreck. Having said 

 enough in the way of genen 'izing, I now proceed to the illustration which, 

 particular examples bring. 



" As chaste as the moon" was, till the other day, the very expressed 

 image of purity ; but, thanks to my Lord Byron, the saying is now, by his 

 great authority, battered down, and the supposition involved in the com- 

 parison scouted by all ; the proofs he brought forward to shew that Luna 

 is the most rakish of all planets, having settled that point in every reasonable 

 man's mind for ever. " As gentle as a pigeon" " as meek as a dove"- 

 " as constant as a turtle" are household words, and convey so many 

 undisputed propositions: yet, if they are true, or at all applicable to the 

 creature they pretend to describe, then say I, " Abel killed Cain" so 

 diametrically opposed are they to fact ; and the honour has -been reserved 

 for me of proclaiming in the face of the world (what seems hitherto to have 

 escaped the notice of every one else), that doves are, of all God's crea- 

 tures, the most quarrelsome the most coxcombically vain in their deport- 

 ment the most capricious and inconstant in their salacity ! Of all the 

 feathered knaves that wing the sky or cleave the air, your pigeon is 

 the most eminent ; he is absolutely an unprincipled, good-for-nothing, 

 thievish rake. But the matter I have more immediately at heart to bring 

 forward in judgment against the public, is its continued and unaccountable 

 blindness to the great and manifold merits of COALHEAVERS ; and my 

 present essay will, I trust, be found to contain a complete and satisfactory 

 (though succinct) summary of their virtues, as regards manners, habits^ 

 and deportment ending with a touch at their peculiar opinions. Thus 

 will I endeavour " to shame the rogues." 



It was on a fine evening in the middle of last summer, that I, an incor- 

 rigible street-walker, was passing through that region of the eity of West- 

 minster that lies between the Adelphi and Whitehall, and had come pretty 

 near to Hungerford Market, when I saw suddenly before me a moving 

 group of rather an unusual aspect. There was a goodly number of people 

 close together, and a man's head and shoulders rising high over all. On a 



M.M. New Series. VOL. IV. No. 22. 2 Y 



