J 827.] the Praises of Coalheavcrs. 34 7 



those who heave coal. I entered, and following the sound of trampling feet 

 along an unlighted passage, found myself in a large apartment; wherein, 

 having groped my way to a corner, under a large-faced antique clock, there 

 J determined to sit for the remainder of the evening, and make observa- 

 tions. 



A London tap-room is, not unfrequently, in one sense, like to the Temple 

 of Knowledge in that all is dark when you first enter ; and it is only by 

 a diligent use of the faculties, and after a lapse of time, that you begin to 

 arrive at discoveries. Being Monday night, a period when the week is 

 yet young, and while the pecuniary stream has not as yet ebbed very low 

 in the pockets of the industrious, the place was quite full; and I had! good 

 reason to congratulate myself on the possession of the convenient nook 

 which fortune had taken care to leave unoccupied for my convenience. As 

 soon as the converse became general, it ran most on the example they had 

 just been making ; and bets were freely offered and taken on all sides> as 

 to the probabilities of Ben's (the culprit) making an honest woman of 

 ruined Sukey, the ex-Hebe of the place. Ben's looks were much conr- 

 sulted on this head, and many indirect suggestions were pointed his way ; 

 but he, to use the expressive language of vulgarity, " cocked his eye," 

 looked knowing, and smoked a quiet pipe, but said nothing. Much 

 animated conversation ensued, and that not a little miscellaneous. Politics, 

 trade, the corn-laws, with " the cursed dear loaf" in front, were some of 

 the topics handled in a manner wonderously original. Many a piquant 

 observation was sported on these knotty points ; but as I have made a vow 

 with myself not to publish any thing that can any way tend to the discredit 

 of my proteges, I say no more. 



Presently, one man expressed a common sensation by saying he was wery 

 peckish, and called for a rump-steak with a lordly air. I took particular 

 notice of this individual ; for he seemed to be the acknowledged wit of the 

 house ; and, certainly, he was a great wag in his way. He experienced 

 much success in his endeavours to raise laughter, and seemed to have as 

 absolute a power of relaxing the jaws of his auditors into the broadest of 

 grins, as the sun has in distending the shells of oysters. But it is with 

 sorrow I say it, that his jokes were too racy, and do not admit of insertion 

 here: tender stomachs must be fed with babes' nurture. There he sat, 

 however, like Apollo, shooting his rays on all sides between his steak and 

 his pot turning from the one to the other, as a man passes from his mis- 

 tress to his friend, the perfect picture of happiness. " Why am I not 

 (thought I, as I looked on, almost ready to burst with envy) why am I 

 not, ye too partial gods, a Coalheaver ?" In the course of the night, I 

 experienced personally that hospitality is a virtue not unknown to this 

 dingy community. " The barbarians" I beg pardon of the straitlaced 

 for the quotation "the barbarians," I say, " shewed me no little kind- 

 ness." Their politeness was not the poor sickly plant of drawing-rooms- 

 all leaves and no fruit; but, rooted in the rich soil of a warm heart, threw 

 out its vigorous shoots liberally. Many were the invitations given (for 

 their courtesies went straight to the mark) to "the gentleman in the corner :" 

 but all I wanted of them was to forget me if possible, lest my presence 

 might check their mirth or modify their manners, though the event 

 proved that any anxiety of this kind was needless. One fine fellow early 

 bawled out, in the pride of his heart (and he seemed to speak a general 

 sentiment), " 1 drink no mixed liquors, to be sure ; but I loves my girl 



2 Y 2 



