1827.1 the Praises of Coalheavers. 349 



common butt for the company to launch their bolts at ; but his good 

 humour or his cunning turned off every shaft innocuous. So long as he 

 had plenty of orders for liquor, he seemed to mind their rough jests not a 

 fig. At last, indeed, being vigorously pressed on all sides, his temper 

 did give way for a moment, but he quickly gathering his wits about him 

 again, with the policy of an old campaigner, diverted the attention of the 

 enemy with a story. One man having quoted against him the common 

 reproach of tapsters that of using grooved chalk, so as to mark a double 

 tale against their customers " Now you mention chalk," said he, " I'll 

 tell you how I got done the other day." And here he treated us to a 

 rigmarolish story about a certain gentleman in his neighbourhood, who 

 having permitted some bricklayers to run up a beer score at his house, the 

 debtor would not pay till he had inspected the original account; and that 

 this last having been set down on the window -shutter of the tap-room, he 

 was unreasonable enough to desire to retain it, that he might fix it on his file 

 along with other small matters. " And so, gemmen," concluded the 

 landlord, " I was reg'larly queered out o' my wm&ow-dlin&ers." 



A cachinnatory explosion, which convinced me that till now I had 

 never rightly known what the common phrase, a horse laugh meant, fol- 

 lowed the recital of this abominable lie, under cover of which sly Boniface 

 retreated; and, I thinking it a good chance for me, followed his example. 

 Before I quit this part of ray subject, it may be as well to mention (as it 

 involves a point of character, and coupled with other traits, goes to point 

 the fallacy of Burke's assertion about the non-existence of a chivalric spirit 

 among the moderns, at least in so far as regards these knights of the black 

 diamond), that two several quarrels arose in the course of the evening 

 for, after all, coalheavers are in the main frail men. Yet their differences 

 were only the natural result of the workings of " humours which some- 

 times have their hour with every man," as Shakspeare very rightly 

 observes : these were settled in the true Old English way ; there was no 

 riot, no brawling; the parties, with their seconds, kindly bade the com- 

 pany good bye for a moment, each posited his tobacco-pipe upon the table, 

 so as in some sort to represent his person, ad interim ; and there were 

 fought two fistic duels in the back-yard, with every circumstance of 

 equity and scrupulous regularity of form. On their return, the visages of 

 the heroes seemed a little worse for the rencounter; but the owners of 

 them the best friends in the world ; being fairly beaten into a loving ten- 

 derness and regard for each other, the general comfort was scarcely dis- 

 turbed for a moment, and it was evident such things were common. 



" So gallant in love, and so dauntless in war, 

 Was ever true knight like the brave Coalheawzr ?" 



I now mean to digress a little. It has long been a cherished opinion of 

 mine, that the English character has in our times undergone a total 

 change. The sturdy independence of mind, and straightforwardness of 

 manners, shadowed forth in the image of John Bull, are now almost 

 extinct ; that gruff, but honest and warm-hearted, personage is now our 

 " virtual" and not our actual representative; in dress and deportment all 

 is changed : all ape the gentleman; and a second and third hand politeness 

 takes placa of the ancient English plain dealing. There is at this day 

 fin the metropolis at least) no genuine English people ; yet, as most rules 

 have their exceptions, I mean to say that the coalheavers alone have 

 maintained their integrity amid the prevailing degeneracy. 



