1832.] Affairs in General 105 



might most readily fasten his fangs ; and it was suggested to us by one 

 of the most practical reformers connected with this journal, that a con- 

 venient mode of obviating this calamity would be, to brick-up the 

 obnoxious avenue at one end, and fire it at the other. The proposition 

 created a " considerable sensation at the time ;" and after many morning 

 and evening papers had aided the publicity of the scheme by extracting 

 the passage, the " Times" as a matter of course (the " greatest" is 

 generally "behind'') took it up. Not satisfied however with leaving 

 the sublimity of the conception to speak for itself, the editor appended 

 a moral to it in the form of a query, saying (we only answer for the 

 spirit, not the letter, of the observation) " But is the writer aware of 

 the illegality and the danger of such a remedy ?" (!!!) Now whether 

 we are aware of this or not, we are perfectly aware that the " Times" 

 has no more notion of a joke than Adam had of Almack's, and that it 

 would be quite as much bewildered by a whimsicality of any descrip- 

 tion, as an Esquimaux would be by the Edinburgh Review. Its own 

 occasional attempts at something which it mistakes for a sort of pleasantry 

 induce this conviction. Ithas about as much humour as a hippopotamus. 

 Its laugh is as if St. Paul's bell were to be tolled to the tune of " I'm 

 the boy for bewitching 'em." It takes its wit as the king in Hamlet 

 takes his wine, amidst the flourishing of trumpets and the firing of 

 cannon ; the very devils that carry the articles to the printer turn blue 

 by anticipation. " Give me/' the editor seems to say, after the manner 

 of the Dane, 



" Give me a joke ! 



And let the Ledger to the Herald speak, 



The Herald to the Chronicle without, 



The Chronicle to the Post, the Post to all 



Now the " Times" feels waggish !'* 



And had we felt waggish when we suggested the Holywell-street 

 explosion, we should have known, from frequent experience, that the 

 " Times" could not by any earthly or editorial possibility have entered 

 into the humour of the scheme ; but having thrown out the hint in 

 a spirit of seriousness and sincerity, we cannot but think that the cold 

 water thus thrown upon the suggested fire is the result of pure malice; 

 and that the " Times" is angry that so patriotic and original a plan should 

 have originated in any source but itself. 



As an evidence that we can be as serious upon occasion as the 

 " leading journal," in its drowsiest fits of solemnity, we have now to 

 announce that the plan, after mature consideration (though contrary we 

 own to counsel's opinion that is Sir. C. WetherelFs, who hates fires), 

 has been adopted by the parish of St. Clement Danes, and that a proper 

 number of barrels of gunpowder are now on their road to the Strand. 

 Mr. Rothschild has sent fifty pounds in aid of the subscription, and 

 the Jews generally are following his example, as they consider the event 

 the first step to their emancipation. All proper precautions have been 

 taken; the sharp three-cornered stones with which the passage was 

 paved (and which were so loose as to excite an apprehension that they 

 might be thrown up in the explosion, to the danger of the windows at 

 the west end), have been removed within these few days, and others 

 carefully rammed down, as any gentleman who chooses to trust himself 

 in Holywell-street will perceive. So that the only inconvenience to be 

 apprehended, upon a lighted " Times" being applied to the train, is, 



