42 New Year s Hints for the Management of the Magazine. [JAN. 



If you can find one that can neither read nor write, the better. In the 

 hints from a Veteran Contributor, to which I havealready alluded, a dis- 

 tinction is made between contributors who are paid, and contributors 

 who ought to pay. This, however paradoxical it may sound at first, 

 is perfectly true in logic. For instance, if Mr. Robert Montgomery 

 wishes one of his poems to appear in your pages, you will, of course, 

 require that the letter containing the contribution shall be accompanied 

 by an order upon a house in London for a sum equivalent to the risk you 

 run by its publication two guineas per page, at the least; and even 

 with this surety you would probably be losers. The less poetry you 

 have the better ; or, if you insert any, let it smack of that rich, aromatic 

 flavour, which one of the fathers of our church meant to praise when he 

 christened poesy the devil's wine. 



Hint the sixth ; how to judge an Article. A great deal of trouble 

 may be saved by a careful examination of the physiognomy of a contri- 

 bution. You cannot devote too much attention to this branch of study. 

 One rule may be followed without any exception viz. to reject every 

 article written upon gilt-edged post, or note-paper with a flowered border. 

 It is said of Haydn the composer, that he never felt master of his intel- 

 lects unless he had his diamond ring upon his finger, and always refused 

 to write his music on any but the finest satin paper. But you are not 

 likely to meet with a literary Haydn about " THE MONTHLY -" and I 

 would advise you, therefore, to enforce your regulation strictly. It may 

 be well to be cautious of all enveloped letters, ending with " I have the 

 honour to be," &c. &c. ; it shews a desire to propitiate your good will, 

 and such communications must be treated circumspectly. Should any 

 contributor, however, attempt to bribe you with a present of game at 

 ,any time, there is no imperative necessity for returning it with the 

 article.* 



My letter has already reached to a considerable length, and I must 

 hasten to conclude ; for my fire is almost out, and Mrs. Morgan is com- 

 plaining of the spasms, to which she is subject. So good bye ! Let me 

 hear from you when convenient ; and if any of my " Hints" should be 

 of advantage to you, it will gratify 



Your's, very sincerely, 



MARK O' GORMAN MORGAN. 

 14, Ormond-street, Queen-square, 

 December 15th, 1831. 



P. S. Will you come and dine with us on Christmas Day ? I have an 

 Essay on Horsewhipping, and a series of Chalk Farm Sketches, which 

 you should investigate forthwith, as they may be useful to you in more 

 ways than one. 



* We shall be particularly careful in acting upon this suggestion, and confidently 

 invite our contributor and others to try us. We know an editor who used to give 

 splendid dinners and desserts, by throwing out weekly hints to his correspondents 

 after this fashion " We thank A Constant Header for his pheasants" or, " The 

 nectarines from Windsor," &c. \Ed. 



