1832.] Oyster-Day in London. 29 



In a moment I was surrounded by half the vagabond boys of the 

 parish, who had witnessed this apparently princely munificence. A 

 thousand obtruders of oyster-shells flitted like apparitions before my 

 sight ; and a yell arose on my ears, like a chorus of infernal spirits. In 

 every key and variety that the demon of discord could invent, was 

 shouted and shrieked the cry of, " Remember the grotto !" There was no 

 need of such urgent appeal to remembrance. Eager to free myself, and to 

 escape, I snatched the fur cap from the head of the foremost urchin, and 

 hurled it vehemently into the middle of the street. Alas ! by the same 

 action I threw from me a new pair of kid gloves, which I had taken off 

 the moment before to search for the halfpenny ; and, at the same time, 

 dropped my umbrella into the mire ! The shriek of delight, sent forth 

 from that pigmy, though demoniacal multitude, would have startled a 

 stoic. One scampered off with my gloves ; another pounced on my 

 umbrella, which I fortunately rescued ; and the rest amused themselves 

 by hooting and shouting the most diabolical chorus that ear was ever 

 regaled with. In a sort of phrenzy, I made my way through the crowd, 

 and sought refuge at the first house, of public entertainment that pre- 

 sented its invitingly open door. I threw myself into one of the boxes, 

 in a back-room or parlour up a short flight of stairs, and covering my 

 face with my handkerchief, endeavoured to collect my scattered senses. 



Many, in reviewing this succession of miseries of the minor kind, will 

 smile in contempt at what they may consider the absurdity of allowing 

 trifles to discompose me to the effect I have described ; but those who 

 cannot sympathize with my feelings under such circumstances, can form 

 no idea of the sensations of a nervous man. He can never have fancied 

 himself a tea-pot, as I have ; and, placing one arm a-kimbo for the 

 handle, thrust the other forward as the spout. He could never have 

 believed himself a pane of glass, and shut himself up for fear of being 

 broken ; or a big black mouse, and ordered all the feline inhabitants 

 of the house to be destroyed, for fear of being devoured ! But, as I said, 

 it was some few minutes before I could compose myself. The shout of 

 the urchins still rung in my ears ; their oyster-shells still glittered before 

 my eyes : but the impression was becoming fainter, when, casting my 

 eyes from their concealment, I ventured to look around. If I had ever 

 believed in the diabolical agency of the great enemy of mankind in indi- 

 vidual affairs, at that moment I think my belief would have been justi- 

 fied. The first glance told me I had taken refuge in an oyster-shop ! 

 During my momentary aberration, the cloth had been laid; knife, fork, 

 plate, bread and butter, were before me ; and within a foot of me stood 

 a fiend, with an oyster-knife, and a tub of natives ! A fit of loathing 

 came over me ; my stomach I might almost say my head " turned " 

 at the sight. Instantly, resuming my former attitude, I motioned to the 

 person to be gone ; and, by the same movement, swept the cloth, with 

 all its accompaniments, on the floor. This burst in some degree restored 

 me. I was like a person in a trance aware of my situation, without 

 the power of assisting myself. I was sensible of the apparent absurdity of 

 my conduct, without the power of controlling my feelings. I summoned 

 reason to my aid ; and my efforts towards returning sanity were mate- 

 rially assisted by the recollection of certain damage to be answered for 

 with very uncertain means. My thoughts were thus recalled into another, 

 though not a whit more agreeable channel, until my reverie on. the sub- 

 ject of settlement was interrupted by the entrance of one or two indivi- 



