28 Oyster-Day in London. [JAN. 



mouth ; and, as I cast my eyes around, I beheld certain devils, in blue 

 mother-o'-pearl, threatening me with most malignant aspect, and all 

 armed with oyster-knives ! It was too much. I rushed from the house, 

 loathing oysters, and every thing pertaining to them. 



To a man in such a frame of mind, every shadow seems a spectre ; the 

 slightest inconvenience is magnified by his morbid senses into real mis- 

 fortune ; and it will not, therefore, seem surprising that the circum- 

 stances which appear so trivial to one of calmer temperament, are, to his 

 excited imagination, as unendurable calamities. Such was the state of my 

 mind, as I seized my hat and umbrella, and sought, in the bustle of the 

 open street, a relief from the extraordinary oppression under which I 

 laboured. 



I had proceeded some few hundred yards, striding along, as though 

 anxious to escape from myself, when my career was checked as sud- 

 denly, as though an apparition had stood before me. It was nothing 

 less than an immense oyster-shell thrust in my path by a squalid urchin, 

 who enforced the appeal by screaming, " Please to remember the grotto, 

 sir only once a year." Had the bottomless pit opened before me, my 

 feelings would not have undergone a greater revulsion than at the sight 

 of that abhorred sign. My first idea was to escape ; but the intensity 

 of my repugnance made me ashamed of myself; and snatching a half- 

 penny from my pocket, I threw it from me with all the vehemence of 

 disgust ; and had the satisfaction of witnessing a scramble, and a fight 

 in the confusion of which the grotto was entirely demolished. Had 

 I been of a malicious turn, this would have been a prodigious comfort to 

 me ; as it was, I cannot say it was disagreeable to see that fortune, in 

 persecuting me, had not been a whit less scurvy to my tormentors. 

 Feeling as I then did, I could not have selected an evening more mal-cL- 

 propos for my perambulation. It was the 4th of August ; and every 

 street, lane, and alley was crowded with these insignia of my aversion^ 

 I may almost say, at that moment, horror. To retreat to my chamber 

 would be to encounter solitary misery. Mustering, therefore, my stock 

 of halfpence with all the resolution I was master of, I pursued my route, 

 and sought to regain my equanimity by calling on a friend. I strode on, 

 scattering halfpence and dissension in my path, and demolished more 

 grottos, by such insidious means, than Oliver Cromwell did castles, until 

 my coin and patience were alike exhausted. I was now like one in a 

 state of siege, without a grain of ammunition. Fresh persecutors started 

 from every corner. In vain I endeavoured to escape, by rapidity and 

 length of stride ; there was one pertinacious urchin, with red hair and 

 brimless hat, who dogged me like a familiar. At every turn, he was at 

 my heels ; and whichever way I looked, there was his eternal oyster-shell. 

 Eagerly I sought my pockets over for a copper talisman that would rid 

 me of this pest; and fortunately I found a solitary piece of coin, snugly 

 intrenched in one corner. Never did I bestow a trifle with such satis- 

 faction ; when, just as the dusky palm of the raggamuffin was clutching 

 his prize, I discovered, by the silvery hue of my donation, that I had 

 given him, not a half-penny, but a half-crown. lie dived down an alley 

 before I could recover my breath ; and if an irreverend exclamation 

 arose on my lips, I hope it will be pardoned, when I say that the descrip- 

 tion of coin was, at that moment, particularly scarce with me : in fact, it 

 was the last specimen I possessed. My mortification is not to be 

 " described" so I must leave it to be " conceived." 



