154 Specimens of Latin Comedy [FEB. 



That they may know how much offence they give 



To others' noses 



No more a parasite, but I'm a king, 

 More kingly than a king a king of kings. 



Ergasilus at last arrives at Hegio's house, and stands thundering at 

 the door for admission ; but Hegio, being just outside, requests him to 

 desist, and, upon coming up to him, finds the parasite in transports of 

 joy about something, but what he could not conjecture. 



Now order, says Ergasilus. 



HEG. Order what ? 

 ERG. A roaring fire. 



HEG. A roaring fire ? 



ERG. Yes, a roaring fire ; 

 A huge one let it be. 



HEG. What, you great glutton, 

 Think you that I will set my house on fire 

 To please you. 



ERG. Nay, prithee, don't be angry. 

 Will you order, or will you not, the pots to be put on ? 

 The dishes to be washed ? The larded meats 

 And kickshaws to be set upon the stoves ? 

 Won't you send some one to buy fish ? 

 HEG. He dreams with his eyes open. 

 ERG. Bid another go for pork, lamb, pullets. 

 HEG. Yes, you understand good living, had you 

 The wherewithal to get it. 



ERG. For hams, 

 For choicest fish and fowl, and a fat cheese. 



HEG. Easier 'tis for you to talk of all 

 These dainties, than with me to eat them. 



The visit of Ergasilus, however, was not all annoyance ; for though 

 the combined excitement of the juice of Bacchus, and of its consequent 

 ecstatic delight, would not allow of an immediate enunciation of the 

 object of his peremptory call, Hegio was soon rewarded for the trouble 

 which his guest had caused him, by the pleasing news he brought. 

 Ergasilus had seen Hegio's captured son, Philopolemus, at the port. 

 Hegio's joy at the intelligence was only equalled bv that of his inform- 

 ant; though the joy of the parasite probably arose less from his delight 

 at the restoration of Philopolemus, than from the prospect of his prefer- 

 ment to some honourable station in the extensive household of Hegio 

 a prospect which was no sooner anticipated than realized ; for Hegio 

 immediately elevated him to the dignified post of head cellar-man, and 

 gives him a carte blanche to provide a magnificent banquet worthy of 

 such an occasion. 



This was the height of the parasite's ambition (as may easily be con- 

 ceived when we see him, in one instance, swearing by ' ( holy gluttony," 

 as the dearest and most sacred object to which he could address his 

 invocations), and we accordingly find him congratulating himself on 

 his new honours in the following soliloquy : 



He's gone : and has entrusted to my care 

 The high and grand concern of catering. 

 Immortal gods ! how shall I cut and quarter ! 

 How I shall chop the crags from off the chines ! 

 What devastation will befal the hams ! 

 What a consumption rage among the bacon ! 



