186 Elliston And the Ass's Head. [FEB. 



the Surrey Theatre. However, in the hurry of " getting up/' we have 

 forgotten one property every thihg is well with us but our Bottom, 

 and he wants a head. As it is too late to manufacture, not but that 

 my property-man is the cleverest in the world (except the property- 

 man of Covent-garden), can you lend me an ass's head, and believe 

 me, my dear Charles, 



" Your's ever truly, 



" ROBERT WILLIAM ELLISTON." 



" P.S. I had forgotten to acknowledge the return of the Black- Eyed 

 Susan score, and coats. You were most welcome to them." 



The letter was dispatched to Covent-garden Theatre, and in a brief 

 time the bearer returned with the following answer :- 

 " MY DEAR ROBERT, 



" It is with the most acute pain that I am compelled to refuse your 

 trifling request. You are aware, my dear Sir, of the unfortunate situa- 

 tion of Covent-garden Theatre ; it being at the present moment, with all 

 the ' dresses, scenery, and decorations/ in the Court of Chancery, I 

 cannot exercise that power which my friendship would dictate. I have 

 spoken to Bartley, and he agrees with me (indeed, he always does), 

 that I cannot lend you an ass's head he is an authority on such a sub- 

 ject without risking a reprimand from the Lord High Chancellor. 

 Trusting to your generosity, and to your liberal construction of my re- 

 fusal and hoping that it will in no way interrupt that mutually cordial 

 friendship that has ever subsisted between us, 



" Believe me, ever your's, 



" CHARLES KEMBLE." 



" P.S. When I next see you advertised for Rover, I intend to leave 

 myself out of the bill to come and see it." 



Of course this letter did not remain long unanswered. Ben was again 

 in requisition, and the following was the result of his labours : 



" DEAR CHARLES, 



" I regret the situation of Covent-garden Theatre I also, for your 

 sake, deeply regret that the law does not permit you to send me the 

 e property' in question. I knew that law alone could prevent you ; for 

 were it not for the vigilance of Equity, such is my opinion of the ma- 

 nagement of Covent-garden, that I am convinced, if left to the dictates 

 of its own judgment, it would be enabled to spare asses' heads, not to 

 the Surrey alone, but to every theatre in Christendom. 



ft Your's ever truly, 



" ROBERT WILLIAM ELLISTON/' 



" P.S. My wardrobe-keeper informs me that there are no less than 

 seven buttons missing from the captains' coats. However, I have or- 

 dered their places to be instantaneously filled by others." 



We entreat our readers not to receive the above as a squib of inven- 

 tion. We will not pledge ourselves that the letters are verbatim from 

 the originals ; but the loan of the Surrey music and coats to Covent- 

 garden, with the refusal of Covent-garden's ass's head to the Surrey, 

 is " true as holy writ/' 



>o*m 



